I Suppose.....

2009-06-30T21:06:00.000-07:00

So, trolling the bear dating websites late an night is both amusing and depressing all at the same time.

First, it's a bit depressing, as you sit there and think, "Look at all these hot guys who would never date me." Of course the inner pessimist comes out immediately, followed with our favorite friend, negative self image. Give negative self image a nice round of applause ladies and gentlemen. Only, keep your arms down, it makes the fat jiggle. Of course this invariably leads to such thoughts as "I'm never going to have sex, No one loves me, why don't I live in Fox Valley, etc...." Of course, you can't approach these men, because the buffer that the Internet provides is not enough....I mean these men aren't easily going to find out where you live, your last name, how to contact you, etc. But that's not enough....right?

Second, it's amazingly amusing. I guess deep down I'm a prude, but honestly, why would you post a picture of your ass or frontal business on the Internet for all the world to see. For one thing, pictures almost always make things look much smaller, which takes away a bit from the latter mentioned above. Plus, maybe I'm just an old fashioned girl, but that's the sort of thing you pull out (quite literally) on the 3rd or 4th date. Unless of course you're rather forward, and you barely make it half way through your first date. But hey, I don't judge (out loud... among other people... who can hear....)

Also, my goodness some of the things these people say I really have to question as to why this is a turn-on. For instance "54 year old toothless man". C'mon, really? While I do understand this is a plus (I guess) in one department (don't make me spell it out, you kids know what I'm talking about), but what about the rest of the time. That really shouldn't be your selling point. I don't want to sit and listen to you gum Dots in the theatre next to me. I'll probably tell you to close your damn mouth or stop eating that crap.

Then, come on kids, this really bugs the shit out of me. Please, PLEASE, use correct grammar, and punctuation. Spelling I'll let slide, because we all screw that up, not everything has spell check, and some words are just really hard from some to spell. (I still can't spell definitely to save my life, I cheated and used spell check on that one.). But, I should always be capitalized when it stands alone. Also, periods, people, periods! Yes, we're men, and therefore don't get the monthly visit from Aunt Flo, but that doesn't mean we have to neglect the poor punctuation mark that unfortunately share the name. I (and I suspect others) tire very quickly of reading something when it's discovered that it's a 785 word run-on sentence.

Well.. I suppose....

p.s. the comment section is where you get to make fun of all my spelling, grammatical, and punctuation errors. But remember, I'm not trying to find a boyfriend (or sex) with this posting.

2009-06-22T17:29:00.000-07:00

Alright kids.

My yes, it's been almost a complete year since I've done anything with this blog. What can I say? It's been an interesting year. Failed relationships, a bout with depression, a near nervous break-down, (not in that order), a speeding ticket, bounced checks, all great times. K, maybe not great, but interesting......

So I am going to try this again, I don't have Internet access at home still (Hurrah for renting a place that's too expensive for me!) so it may be sporadic, while I'm stealing time at work, or hanging at my ma's house.

I usually think of amusing things when I am wondering through my day, but never quite get to the computer fast enough to put the down. I will say I'll try not to be the whiny depressed bitch I tended to be, but I still will be my normal sullen, emotionally distant, sarcastic bitch, so take heart in that!

Well... I suppose....

(Yes, the tag line will continue to make it's appearance)

2008-07-05T09:59:00.001-07:00

Just a random bit of writing from the other day.......

"I awoke in the morning to the sun filling my room with its early golden light. Reaching off the bed for my phone, I groaned realizing that it was only 5:48. Having lived in the basement for a number of years I was accustomed to sleeping in near darkness at all times of the day. Now on the second floor with two large windows immediately to the left of my bed, my body had not yet accepted the intruding morning light for the mild annoyance that it was, but instead as a natural alarm clock. However, having neither want nor need to be awake at this hour, to say nothing of desire, I roll over and try to go back to sleep. When this simple effort proves to be ineffectual, I slowly get up, reaching for a t-shirt that I can drape over my face to block out the brightness. The dog is smart and simply sleeps with his entire being underneath the heavy covers, which does a wonderful job on completely blocking out all light. Having not yet mastered the art of breathing normally through a layer of quilted material, I am left with the make shift sun block of my worn gray t-shirt.

My alarm goes off at 7:20. I barely rise, just enough to turn it off, in favor of the later time I also set it for. Goober, the dog, has become accustomed to my morning routine and does not stir, as he knows the first alarm is always ignored. I lay there in the warmth of the bedclothes that soon will prove to be a bit too warm, forcing me to awaken again. My alarm sounds again, and now Goober rouses himself from his curled position. He meanders up the bed to look at my face, with his simple but direct expression of “Get up, I want to go outside.” I begrudgingly tear my self from my comfort in bed. I reach for a t-shirt that is a little more socially acceptable, as the one I am wearing is emblazoned with “Smile if you’re gay” and a rainbow. While I don’t normally hide my sexual orientation, I don’t feel the need to be advertising it to the world. I grab a pair of socks and head on down the stairs.

I use to facilities first, muttering to Goober “Damn it, I’d like to go the bathroom first.” The finding the keys, leash, and a bag for leavings, I snap the harness on the little dog and head out the door. I have grabbed a cigarette, which I light upon setting foot on the sidewalk. I don’t quite understand why it is that I am smoking this early in the morning, or why I am at all. I don’t normally smoke, having never acquired the habit. However, when I do imbibe in alcohol, something switches in my brain, and my body cries out for nicotine and carbon monoxide. So after a weekend of drinking with friends, it is normal for a pack of smokes to be lying about the house. However, for some reason lately, I’ve been reaching for them 2, 3, even 4 times a day, whenever I am about to leave the house. There doesn’t seem to be a pattern or need, just a random act. I feel that once that pack is gone, a new one will not show up to replace it, until a wild night of drinking commences once again. I ponder this as I walk down the sidewalk with the dog, wondering if any of the passing cars contain a friend or family member, who will later grill me about smoking the nefarious cigarette. "

2008-06-18T21:13:00.001-07:00

And now a word from the grammar bitch.

So I was in Wal-Green's today on a mission to pick up some pictures, and I stopped in an aisle looking at foam board. While peering at it's "ghost lines" (and making a dumb joke about them) I heard to following sentence spoken aloud.

"Don't this like more better than it did?"

I cringed at the many errors of that sentence. I wanted to walk over there with the foam board and a marker and write down that sentence. Then explain to the teenager who had uttered it, just what exactly was all wrong with that sentence. Such as the use of Don't instead of Doesn't (we should suspend the use on contractions in this country for the period of a week or two, so maybe people will once again realize that the root words of said contractions are and hopefully be able to use them in a sentence.) I also wanted to point out to him that "more better" is a bit redundant, and that when saying better, one must not use a word that is basically a synonym. Much better would have sufficed, but more isn't correct. In that way you are saying that it looked better before, and not you have made it "more better" than that. A bit obnoxious.

Well.. I suppose...

2008-06-16T10:30:00.001-07:00

Hurrah! Gays getting Legally getting married in California! How exciting! What's next? More happiness and less discrimination? Let's Hope!

http://www.cnn.com/2008/US/06/16/samesex.marriage/index.html

Well... I suppose....

2008-05-25T21:31:00.001-07:00

Ever wonder?

- If this is all there is?

- If self doubt, worry, and uncertainty is your cross to bear?

- If the cigarettes you smoke today will cause you cancer tomorrow?

- If someone will ever love you?

- If it's obsession or the start of love?

- If you would be succesful if you applied yourself?

-That you wouldn't fail if you took a risk?

- Why exactly people like you?

Well... I suppose...

P.S. Katy Perry, new artist, AWESOME! Check her out. http://www.katyperry.com/

2008-04-30T20:20:00.001-07:00

See I was correct! Holly did say that. See?

"Holly said...
Hahah yes now we are internet friends twice.Next time someone famous comes out, I'll be sure to let you know STAT.
Thursday, November 16, 2006 3:49:00 PM "

This isn't very STAT, Holly!

Well.. I suppose....

2008-04-28T21:22:00.000-07:00

What the hell?!

So, today I found out David Hyde Pierce finally came out (last year!). Why didn't anyone tell me? I distinctly remember a Ms. Holly saying that the next time a Hollywood celebrity came out, that she was going to to me. Where the hell were you Holly? Here I am blissfully thinking about how fun it would be to marry "Niles Crane", but knowing I can't, and here I could've the whole time.

Well... I suppose....

2008-04-24T12:14:00.000-07:00

- I love that when you are walking and listening to music, you instantly become "invisible" when one of your favorite songs come on. To your "rational" mind, no one else can hear you loudly singing along, or see you waggin' your finger, shaking your booty, whipping your head around, or slapping that imaginary ass. (Oh yea, it was "Shoop" by Salt 'n Pepa that set me off today)

-I find it weird when people who write letters write not only the date at the top of the letter, but also the time, and sometimes the weather. What the hell? Is this really important? I mean, I guess if your accused of murder or a robbery you can go back and say " Oh no, I was writing Aunt Ida then, I couldn't possibly have done it"

-Also, I find it odd when people you don't really know (i.e. you've "met" online and have a passing friendship), give you their phone number. I really just want to write back and say " I don't want to call you. That's too weird!". But instead I just ignore it. What would I say? "Hey, I really don't know who you are at all...." (this coming from the man who met someone in a cemetery last year, who was visiting from Ohio, and had just chatted online. Also from the man who drove down to see and stayed with an 84 year old woman whom I had written to and talked to on the phone once. Hmm... I guess I have this weird double standard eh?)

Well, I suppose.....

2008-04-22T21:50:00.000-07:00

- So Ma took down the fence surronding the backyard. This annoys me for 2 reasons. One being an obvious and normal one, I can't let my little Goober out to run around, I have to put him on a lead. The second being the more important one. Now, if/when the dead rise from their graves to attack the living, the backyward is no longer a safe place! I had always counted on, if things go badly, we could board up the windows in the front of the house, and still have the backyard, now, it's not so! This worries me.

-Today, when driving back from grocery shopping at work, I spotted a boy walking down the street. I noticed his lips seemed black, and I couldn't figure out why. Well, as it happens, I saw when I got closer he was wearing black lipstick, and then I realized he was a goth! I honestly squealed "Wow, a goth, I haven't seen one in years!" and yes, I clapped my hands.

Well.. I suppose...

2008-04-16T21:19:00.000-07:00

I love my job!

So, yes, you've all heard me piss and moan constantly about my job, but I do have to admit, I do love it. I offer for evidence what I did today.

Got to work, and went to pick up my clients (in our 2006 Ford, something or another. When we got it it had 20 miles on it! The first time I ever got to drive a brand new car).

Then we went for an hour drive in the country. We got home, and I passed meds, unloaded the dishwasher and put away the mornings clothes. I made dinner (unstuffed cabbage skillet, so good!). After dining, and making tomorrow's chicken salad, I took one of the guys for a walk around the neighborhood. It was such a lovely day. Then I sat on the deck with another of the guys, reading and slowly swinging on the porch swing, enjoying the lovely weather. Then I washed the guys up for bed, gave them a snack of pretzels and iced tea, and later helped them to bed. All I had left to do was switch the laundry, unload the dishwasher and clean the floors.

I love not dreading going into work!

Well.. I suppose...

2008-04-14T21:42:00.000-07:00

So a posting on the forums that I belong to got me to digging out this old set of plates. I grew up using them and always loved them and bought a part of a set at a garage sale some time ago. Well, as it turns out, they were grocery store premiums, and there was quite a set, including platters, tumblers, pie plates, covered serving pieces, teapots, mixing bowls, even an ashtray. So I've decided to make this my china pattern. I figure if I can't have nice fancy china, I might as well have tacky china.

So all you kids out there, if you ever catch a glimpse of this pattern and the prices aren't bad, pick 'em up and send 'em my way, I'll pay your back.

Well..I suppose....

2008-04-11T22:02:00.000-07:00

Loneliness

What is it about loneliness that will make us do crazy things?
We'll stay with partners that infuriate us, disrespect us, and have no love for us, just so we don't sit alone on Saturday nights.
We'll stay friends with people who annoy us just so we have another person to go to the mall with.
We'll accept offers of intimacy from people who aren't truthful, so we can once feel that closeness that we've been craving our entire lives.
We'll spend our nights rotting at the bar, drinking away our pain, just so we can commiserate with the person sitting next to us.
We'll throw the chance of a lifetime away, just because it may take us away from the people whose company we enjoy.

Well...I suppose......

2008-04-09T21:01:00.000-07:00

So kids, here is a quote from The Bell Jar by Sylvia Plath.

" I saw my life branching out before me like a green fig tree. From the tip of every branch, like a fat purple fig, a wonderful future beckoned and winked.... I saw myself sitting in the crotch of this fig tree, starving to death, just because I couldn't make up my mind of which figs I should choose. I wanted each and everyone of them, but choosing one meant losing all the rest and, as I sat there, unable to decide, the figs began to wrinkle and go black, and one by one, they plopped to the ground at me feet."

I had to make a very difficult decision this week, and I think I am already regretting it. I want so much out of life, and though I am realizing that I can't have everything, I still want it all. A problem that I have is that once an idea or thought enters my hear, I embellish upon it, and built it up in my head, until it's the only way I want to live. Then it can't come to fruition (for whatever reason), and I am crestfallen. Mental issues abound in my little world, and well... maybe I should get some help with that.

Well... I Suppose....

2008-03-27T20:27:00.000-07:00

Nerveocity

So yes, I am quite aware that nerveocity is not a word, but deal with it kids. I like it, and it sounds better than "nervousness"

I have such nerveocity in my life at all times! For instance, today I e-mailed our director of Human Resources (I liked it better when the were called Personnel), about a job opening. I was nervous for 2 hours afterwards! I won't even get a response until tomorrow evening, and it's not a big deal at all, but my face was flushed and red, my hands shook, my heart beat hard, and my breathing was shallow. All over that! This even happens at other stupid times, like when I call my 92 year old friend Art to see if he is home, or when I buy potato sausage at the local meat market. It's pathetic, and I have no way to reign it in. Even when I take the dog to the vet I get so nervous nausea often sets in.

Well..I suppose.....

-p.s. for some reason that I can't figure out, my blog will no longer let me have line breaks and new paragraphs. It insists on smushing it altogether, and it's annoying! The only way I can fix it is by adding those stupid dashes!

2008-03-08T18:44:00.000-08:00

"The Secret?"

Has anyone read that book yet, "The Secret"? Basically the gist is not only should you think positive thoughts, but you should imagine good things are happening and live like they will. So an example would be that if you imagine you will find $10 on the sidewalk, and truly believe it, and think positively about it, you will. But the problem is, if you have any negative doubt or something in your mind, it won't happen, as negativity attracts negativity. So you run into many conundrums, for example: You want to lose weight. However, you should not think about losing weight, as this is negative, the "losing part". This will attract more weight to you. You are supposed to think "I am thin", act like you're thin, and imagine you are thin. Apparently when you look in the mirror and see that you have love handles and a fat ass, you're supposed to disregard that.

So when are you thinking positively, and when are you just Mary Alice Sunshine living in Vanilla Ice Cream land? One needs to think negatively sometimes to prepare for bad things. You can't tell me that if you think positively that a tornado will never cross your pass. You still need to prepare for it. But, by preparing for it, are you willing it to come strike you, and blow down your house of straw?

Plus, I have a problem with this anyway, as I am a glass half empty person. And it's full of flat coke, laden with calories, and it's old, and rots your teeth.

Well.. I suppose...

P.S. On the upside me adding famous people on facebook is working! I am now friends with Steven, Sweet P, Rami, and Miss Coco Peru!

2008-03-07T21:29:00.000-08:00

Oh Friends in High Places

-Do you ever watch a show or a movie or something with a famous person in it, and think "You know, I bet if we could just meet, and talk a bit, we'd be really good friends!" ? I've entertained this notion quite a bit with several people, Dolly Parton, Kathy Griffin, Chris March from Project Runway, just to name a few. If I could just meet these people, I know we'd be great friends and constantly be calling each other just to chat. Does this make me delusional or just a normal person? I often wonder if the things I say or do, or think for that matter are just something that I do, and normal people don't. (and sometimes I do think what I do is normal, and then discover it's not. Which is usually amusing, and then a little disheartening). I do try to write the "stars" if you will, but it's increasingly hard to find addresses, or I'm just not trying hard enough. Plus with those sorts of people receiving all sorts of mail and other communications throughout the day, I do understand that they are much to busy to respond to each individually. Plus, I've sorta stopped after making one of my biggest blunders, writing a letter to Lily Tomlin, and mailing it............................................................. to Lilly Taylor. Yep, I'm an idiot. I wonder if ol' Lilly got it and thought, "What the hell?" I never got a response. Maybe she was just pissed. Or maybe her assistant or whatever threw it way after muttering "Idiot."

But I do fancy myself not a complete weirdo, as I don't write letters claiming to be someones soul mate, or professing my undying love for them. Well, at least not anymore. We were all shy, naive adolescents once, remember? So I thought I found true love working at a burger joint when I was 14, give me a break.

Anyway, this blog entry was prompted by the fact that I was wondering around MySpace, and asking people to be my friend, such as Dale Levitski, Rami Kashou, and Sweet P. I know this made me sound like a dorky socially awkward pre-teen again "Will you be my friend?". I almost wanted to ask if they would "Cho-cho-choose me?". But, time will tell.

Well... I suppose....

P.S. Woo-Hoo, Rami added me as a friend. Now, to make him an actual friend!

2008-03-06T19:56:00.000-08:00

- I am very inconsistent recently. Just yesterday, the ladder I was climbing on the farm broke and fell away from me, leaving me hanging 20-30 feet (I have NO concept of distance) off the ground. Did I swear and scream? No, I could barely stop laughing long enough to pull myself up and out of harm's way. However today when I knocked my coffee on the floor I yelled "Shit" and proceded to bitch about it for 15 minutes.

-I love how odd my sister and I are. She will call me stupid, I'll call her fat, she'll call me ugly, and I'll finish with "Jealous", and then we move on from there. No anger or malice, just a little routine we do. We also flip each other off when passing each other in our vehicles.

-Ever tried goggling your name for just images? I am sad to say as far as I can tell, there are no pictures of me archived my google. Oh there are pictures from sites with my name, but no pictures of me. This makes me feel safe and sad at the same time.

-I've decided to continue my love affair with J.K. Simmons. I don't know what it is about older balding men. (Remember Patrick McCarthy?) I heard once that the people you are attracted to in life are all based on who you "fell in love with" when you were young, I.E. The first person. This interests me, because lately I've been developing crushes on people that resemble one of my father's friends. He was around quite a bit during my childhood, and I still find him attractive, and one day hope to bed him. He even has an identical twin brother! I wonder if their is any truth to this. What have been your experiences?

-Anyway, here is Mr. J.K. Simmons.

Well.. I suppose....

2008-02-23T20:16:00.000-08:00

I'm the kind of person...

- who will go put something in the mail with bare feet, when there is 3 inches of snow on the ground and it is -10.

-who will mutter "shit" when upon entering church I discover it is a contemporary service tonight (I just hate them so much!)

-who can not make it through the day without uttering "Your mom" at least 5 times.

- who has a large amount of friends over the age of 75.

- who owns not just one but two wedding dresses, both mine.

- who will check my e-mail 8 times a day if able to.

- who finds female to male transsexuals wildly attractive.

- is sometimes just too lazy to get drunk.

-who will lie awake at night trying hard to stop thinking, wanting desperately to call someone, but knowing no one is awake at 2 a.m.

- who scares away a 40 year old man who makes puppets and plays with toys for a living.

Well...I suppose...

P.S. On a note to anyone with my phone number. My phone is almost always on, only being off when I am at my father's, or in church. Feel free to call me whenever you like, even if it's 3 a.m. I will answer (and if it is 3 a.m. give me some time to respond, as it usually takes me about 10 to 15 seconds to figure out what is making noise and then remember what it is I do with this noise making device. Eventually you will get a slightly breathless and confused, "Hello?")

2008-02-15T22:29:00.000-08:00

-So, wouldn't it be great if life was like a porn? Whenever I stay over at work and the man comes to plow the driveway I have this fantasy. I wish that the man will see the lights on and come to the door, asking to use the bathroom, seeing as how I'm still up. He'll be a nice handsome looking man, and of course I'll let him. Then when he comes out of the bathroom, we'll talk a little bit, and one of us will of course broach the subject of sex. Of course, I'm totally game, and we'll make mad passionate love on the sofa. He'll slip me his card with his number and then walk out to finish his snow removal duties, and I'll just lie there in complete and utter happiness over having just been had by a handsome strapping man.

Well.. I suppose...

P.S. The Lizard man was on Tyra last night about Extreme Love. I have to admit, I've alwyas found him wildly attractive and was devasted when I heard he had married 4 years ago.

go to www.thelizardman.com to see his picture. I think he's hot!

2008-02-14T08:40:00.000-08:00

Will you be my

Well.... I suppose....

P.S. Thank goodness for the Single's Awareness Party! 3 days till drunken bitterness!!!

2008-02-13T19:37:00.000-08:00

- So I know you'll all appreciate this. I went and saw Juno with Randy tonight. I got there and said "What, you didn't brink your flask full or rum? Well, good thing I did." and pulled out my trusty vegas flask and made a nice rum and coke. Made for a fun time. Plus the movie Juno itself it pretty damn hysterical.

-For reasons beyong my comprehension, I am developing this attraction to older balding men. I realized this again while watching Juno because of

J.K. Simmons

and then there is

Miguel Ferrer

Well.... I suppose....

2008-01-31T21:04:00.000-08:00

I worry.....

-that one day someone will comment " I don't know what to do today" and I will say " You could clean the house for hours" and NO one will continue with " Or rearrange the flowers" so I will be unable to finish with " Or run naked down the shady streets, screaming all the way"

2008-01-27T21:16:00.000-08:00

Ok, so I was thinking maybe this story is a bit to odd and tmi to share, but it's damn funny.

So I slept overnight at work the last two nights. Normally I throw the clothes I wore to bed the night before in with the pajamas in the morning because I figure A. I do enough at work washing a few items of my clothing is going to kill the company, and B. I don't use more soap, or change the load size to a bigger one, so I'm not using more water or soap. But I digress. So today the laundry was done drying right when we were ready to go to the store, I pulled it out of the dryer, and grabbed all my clothes out (or so I thought), as I knew the other staff would probably fold it, or see me fold it. Well, the other staff was there when we got back from the store, and I had to make lunch, so she folded the laundry. Well, as I am making sandwiches and soup I hear her ask "Whose underwear is this?" So of course immediately in my mind I think " Oh hell, I didn't get my underwear out", so I turn around and calmly say "What?" Yes, there she is, holding my big blue undies in the air (yes, I wear colored undergarments, deal with it), and asks again "Whose are these?" so I decide it is a bit to weird to say "Oh, they're mine" so instead I say "Oh, I dunno, throw 'em in Lee's drawer." Inside though I am laughing hysterically thinking "OMG, Dorothy is folding my underwear!" Thought you'd all find it amusing.

Well.. I suppose...

Mike- Your comment was AWESOME! See this is why you should go back to blogging! I totally laughed for a couple of minutes. I too almost passed out once, and then got nervous and didn't give blood for a year. But I give again now. Yes, I do watch when they stick the needle in. It is cool, even those sometimes they tell you to look away. Did you get a little cup of Coca-Cola to drink to bring your blood pressure up again, when you passed out?

2008-01-19T20:41:00.000-08:00

So I gave blood yesterday, and you have to fill out this big checklist of questions, i.e., have you taken insulin, have you left the country in the past 12 months, have you had sex for drugs or money, etc...

Well, Since I was in Japan last year (like you all have heard over and over again. I swear, it's Miranda's fault), I had to check I had been out of the country in the past 12 months. So the lady who did my paper work, tested my iron, and checked my pulse and blood pressure, asked where I had gone. I told her Japan, in the end of April, beginning to May. So she pulls out her binder to see if where I went falls under any of the places were if I've gone, I can't give blood. So she flips to a Map of China, and asks "where in Japan did you go?" I wait a minute, and say "Um.... Japan is over here..." pointing off the paper into the ocean where Japan would be. (Note, The map is clearly labeled China at the top). So she flips the pages and asks me with an exasperated tone in her voice "Well, just tell me where in Japan you went." I was a little annoyed, but I was calm and said " Tokyo". So, then she flips to the map of Indonesia (which is also clearly labeled), and is looking at that one intently. I didn't want to piss her off, so I didn't say anything. I did think however "Oh shit, if this lady can't find Japan on a map, I don't know if I want her sticking me with a needle." So I say nothing while she studies the Indonesian map for about 2 minutes, and then closes the book. They she asks me how to spell Tokyo, which, no big deal, if you haven't spelled it, or seen it in writing, it's a little confusing. Well, she then writes it down on the paper, and then writes it on the palm of her latex glove, and gets up and walks away. She come back after a little while, gets the bags and tubes and what not, and walks me over to the chair thingy. Thank goodness she was not the one drawing my blood. Instead I had a very good woman, who got it in the vein, first try, no marking, little pain, and was very amusing.

Well.. I suppose....

p.s. Also, something interesting. There is a question that reads " If you are a male, have you had sex with another male, even once, since 1977?" While I do understand the reasoning behind this question, it still is a bit discriminatory.

2008-01-10T21:45:00.001-08:00

Ya hear that!? Keep it in your pants unless you want the Axis to win!

Well.. I suppose...

p.s. on a different note, Jen, yes I did try the bike. No it is not rocky at all, and besides the bit of annoyance that it tends to lengthen the more you ride it (hmm... so dirty.....), it is very nice.

I can't use an elleptical trainer, as it makes me feel like I'm falling. It's odd.

2008-01-09T12:52:00.000-08:00

Wow

-Never search for Vagina on Ebay. No matter how bored you are. You will be sufficiently startled. A lot! (Unless that's your bag, than go right ahead) Vagina shaped ashtray anyone?

- Continuing on the inappropriate wavelength, I have to share an amusing thing that Randy overheard the other day at a kitchen store. A woman and her mother were shopping, and the woman said "Hey look at these cool dishes, we should get them" to which the mother responded " Please! I've got dishes coming out of my titties!" NO LIE!

-One more, there is a song called "Eat My Butt" by: Lee Kirkham, under the label Bud Ugly Music, released January 16th, 2005. And here I thought it was just an amusing bad porn line.

Well... I suppose....

p.s. Goodness, Now I'm afraid that this will make the porn bots come out in full force.

2008-01-02T19:45:00.000-08:00

I don't want her, you can have her, she's too fat for me......

So, yes I have to admit, that while I didn't actually make a resolution to lose weight

(Well, actually I didn't make any resolutions this year)

I did buy a recumbent bike,

I put it together myself,

aren't you proud of me?

Something I did find amusing though,

on the cover of the booklet that comes with the bike,

explaining how to put it together,

and how it use it,

It states " Weight on this product should not exceed 250 lbs."

Umm...Hello... Who do you think is buying this?

Those skinny bitches wearing those skintight outfits,

that bike all the time?

They are that skinny for a reason.

They get their asses out of the house and ride in the real world.

I bought this at Wal-Mart.

Now we all now what kind of people shop at Wal-Mart.

Poor fat people,

like me.

Who more than likely,

exceed

250 lbs.

That's why

we bought

the damn bike,

the first

place!

Well... I suppose....

P.S. I did purposely but this post in the center aligned format business. I think it looks like a really terribly haiku. I like it.

2008-01-01T21:35:00.000-08:00

Things were learned this New Year's

-Shotgunning beers on a very cold deck at night - not a good idea.

-Indeed, it apparently is possible to get lost in a bathroom, causing the need for you to bang on the wall's (breaking the mirror) while shouting "Jen, I can't get out, JEN! JEN!"

-Drinking Checker's will always lead to someone's downfall.

-Beer Slush is not that bad.

- The only way to look classy when taking the garbage out at 3 a.m., is with a cigarette in one hand, and a bottle of Asti in the other.

- When Ashley is pissed off, all champagne flutes should be removed from her immediate area, lest she takes one, and smashes it on the glass checkerboard.

-5 people can drink 44 cans of beer in a short amount of time.

Well... I suppose....

2007-12-26T21:47:00.000-08:00

-I saw a man being arrested today in the parking lot of Speedway. I didn't hear the cops siren, so I assume he followed him, sans lights and siren. When I walked into to pay for my gas, he was simply talking to the man through the open door, but by the time I walked out with my coffee, he was putting the handcuffs on the guy. I walked to my car, glancing over in bemusement. I had to wonder about the reasoning behind this arrest as I drove home.

-One of my favorite things about the holidays, is the leftover food. I enjoy eating 7-layer salad for breakfast, and having a lunch of ham and cold cheesy potatoes (as I just do not feel like microwaving my food).

-I watched "Pushing up Daisies" today. It's an utterly bizarre show, but very much amusing at the same time. I adore Lee Pace, and anything having to do with the dead always catches my eye.

Well....I Suppose.....

2007-12-12T21:31:00.000-08:00

Thought you'd all find this amusing.

Friday I was at work, just putting the finishing touches on the tree when the night lady Carol came in and was looking at an ornament. The converstation that followed can be found below.

Carol: What is this?
Me- It's a dove.
Carol-It looks like seal.
Me- It's a dove
Carol- I think it's a seal.
Me- It's a dove.
Carol- Actually it looks like a ghost.
Me- It's a dove
Carol- I think it's a ghost.
Me- It's a dove.
Carol- A ghost for Christmas huh?
Me-It's a dove.
Carol- I think it's a seal
Me- It's a dove
Carol- That's weird, a seal for Christmas
Me- It's a dove
Carol- Yea, it's a seal
Me- IT'S A DOVE!
Carol-Oh, I see, it's a dove.

I left early that night.

Well... I suppose....

2007-12-03T22:23:00.000-08:00

Why?

-Won't Patrick just give in and be my e-mail boyfriend? He's only 21 years older than me.

- Don't I drink rum and watch The Golden Girls more often? It's fun and amusing

-Can't I control my terrible eating habits? I don't want to be a fat ass anymore.

- Am I so damn lonely? Why can't I find someone to be with me?

-Can't I find my big white plaster cross? It can't have just disappeared. But it's not on the wall anywhere...

- Did my sister insist on getting the address for this blog? I'm not sure I want her reading it.

- Am I still up? I am tired and need to get to bed.

- Is Steve Howey only sometimes attractive?

Well.. I suppose.....

2007-11-18T20:25:00.000-08:00

Amusing incidents...

I though I'd share this little amusing incident that happened to me last night, well, early this morning if you want to be a stickler. As you well know, I can pick up shifts at work where I get paid to sleep (if you don't know that by now, then you obviously haven't been paying attention, and I just wish that you would leave...right now.... I'll wait......).

Anyway, so that is where I was last night, and retired to the couch around 11 or 11:30, only to be rudely awakened at 2 a.m. by a large beep. I awoke, but was confused, and couldn't figure out what it was, and then I heard it again. Well, it's coming from my cellular communication device, telling me that it had a very low battery, every 5 minutes. Well, immediately I become worried, as A. I am going to be unable to sleep with a loud beep every 5 minutes. B. I use my phone as my alarm clock, and it may go dead before 6:30. So... I wonder... what will I do. Well, at first I try our alarm clock, which like the good little alarm clock fails to function. Instead of making a noise when the alarm goes off, the numbers flash on and off. Well, as wonderful as this is, it isn't a sufficient awakening device. So now I am very worried. I don't wish to call anyone at 2:30 in the morning, requesting that they call me in 4 hours to wake me up, I think hard. Then it comes to me, my sister works nights at a hospital. So I e-mail her, with a subject line of " Open this immediately, yes, right now at 2:30 a.m." with an explanation of the situation, the number of the house, and a plea to call me at 6:30. So as I am too afraid to go back to sleep, I was worrying I would sleep until 8 or something, which would've been bad, I just stay up, checking my e-mail every 5 minutes, and surfing around. Finally at 3:30 my sister calls, and says " Yes, I will call you in three hours, now go to sleep". so, I got about 5 1/2 hours of sleep, which didn't affect me too badly. So the moral of the story is, when you need something at 2:30 a.m., e-mail your sister, she'll come through.

Well.. I suppose....

2007-11-15T21:59:00.000-08:00

" And those by themselves, by choice or by some reward, no mistakes, only now you're bored, this is the time of your life,but you just can't tell" - " These Things" by She wants Revenge.

God, I am so lonely......

Well... I suppose....

P.S. " It can't come quickly enough, and now you've spent your life, waiting for this moment, and when you finally saw it come, it passed you by, and left you so defeated" - "It can't come quickly enough" by The Sisscor Sisters.

2007-11-14T21:31:00.000-08:00

Questions?

We all have those questions inside us that we are dying to ask. - "How much do you make?" " Do you have a girlfriend" " Are you gay" " Do you like me?" " Can I borrow $50" etc. etc. However, for the most part we are afraid to ask these questions. Why is this? I believe it's because we (as in the majority we) are terrified about what the other person will think about us, once these questions fall from our lips. Wouldn't it be great if you could just ask whatever you want, and the questionee ( by the way, we/you are the questioner) would either answer truthfully, or say " I'm sorry I don't believe you need to know that information." (Or something like that, possibly using the word germane) ? Even those people who say "Ask me whatever you want, I don't care.", don't they secretly harbor feelings of malice towards the questioner, when asked something personal. If someone asks you your weight, don't you automatically get a little annoyed? This harkens back to my previous post, about thinking too much. When asked such a question, you assume the other person is implying that you have a weight problem, either having extra pounds hanging on your frame, or you skin is gaunt upon it. So let's make it official. Let's stop thinking too much, and ask and answer any question that strikes our fancy. The world may be a much happier place. Either that or a much bitchier and annoyed place. Who knows? Work it out amongst yourself dears.

Well.. I suppose.....

2007-11-12T21:10:00.000-08:00

Thinking and Friends

A 2 parter tonight.

Thinking.....

I think too much. I over think everything I say and do (for the most part). This causes me to worry and become nervous. Such as at the amazing circuit bending workshop (where I had a wonderful time), I met a man named Patrick. He was funny and cute and I decided to flirt with him, by telling him I was falling madly in love with him. Oh yea, he was in Roth Mobot. So I had a lovely time talking with him, and this earned me a kiss on the head and a hug. Now, through Kyle's blog I have found his myspace page and I want to make him my "friend." However, here is where my over thinking comes in. I worry that if I ask him to become my friend, he will think I'm stalking him. More than likely, this is of course untrue, but of course I worry. Which brings me to my second topic.

Friends.....

I have a terrible time making friends. I think a lot has to do with the fact that I get out so very little. Most of my friends I've made through other friends, or through work. Like when we met Adrian at the circuit bending workshop. Him and Patrick. Adrian seemed like a cool guy (young though), and I was thinking " Wow, he seems cool, wouldn't it be fun if we became friends?" But then I have the dilemma of how. I wish it was socially acceptable, upon discovering that you enjoy someone else's company, to simply exclaim " Hey, you're fun, let's be friends!" While this is the thing to do when you are six (when it is also OK to be friends with the other little boy wearing a teenage mutant ninja turtles t-shirt), it gets a bit odd when one has "grown up." At least with Patrick, there was flirting, casual conversation, a kiss and a hug, and a floppy disk was exchanged (note, DISK!).

Well...I suppose....

2007-11-04T19:48:00.001-08:00

For those of you familar with old tombstones, you will notice something very wrong with this one.

-As per the comment. Actually the entire thing is the same age. It most likely fell down once, and when put back up, it was done incorectly. The piece on the base is the middle, the one in the middle is the bottom, and the one on the top, is indeed the top.

As for the cookie, sure, what kind?

Well.. I suppose....

2007-11-03T19:38:00.001-07:00

It's Not the Most wonderful time of year... not yet....

-It is the beginning of November people! We still have Thanksgiving to get through.

-Hey 99.1 you do NOT need to start playing Christmas music non-stop already. That's a good way for people to get sick of it, BY NOVEMBER 28th!

-Hey Wal-Mart, Just because it is time to clearance out the Lawn and Garden stock, does NOT make it ok to stock you Christmas items in AUGUST!!!! (P.S. Stop having Back to School sales in July!)

-Hey random house- Do NOT put up your Christmas lights already. Worst of all, do not turn them on! It is not cute. It is not whimsical. It is annoying!

Well... I suppose....

2007-10-29T20:50:00.000-07:00

Why life can be great!

-An evening with Kyle, Jenny, Michael, and Courtney. Dresses, food, Alcohol, great company... who could ask for anything more?

-Saturday I found a dozen red roses in a garbage can at the carwash. Finally someone gave me flowers, and it was God! This can not be topped.

- Today I was speeding in the car. Yes I know, naughty me. However, a county sheriff flashed his lights and me and mimed for me to slow down. Yes, that's it, no be pulling over, no ticket or warning. The sheriff no less!

- I have friends who don't blink an eye at my love of fabulous frocks, and try on dresses with me.

Well... I suppose.....

2007-10-18T20:56:00.000-07:00

My celebrity look-alikes.

So, it really, really, really amuses me that half of my people are women! I mean, Billy Idol, come on! Granted I do want to pleasure Heath Ledger til the early morning hours, but do I really look like him? I don't think so. What do you all think?

Well... I suppose....

2007-10-14T19:56:00.000-07:00

Things I regret....
-Prying the space bar off my computer keyboard ( yes, I put it back on) as now it must not have connected correctly again, so it doesn't always add a space leadingtosentencesthatlooklikethis.

- The amount of brandy I drank 2 weeks ago. Yes, amazingly I still regret it a bit, as I was SOOOO sick the next day, all the way to the Brewer's game. But a short walk and a bug bite made me feel better. I think it was the bug bite.

- That my confirmation picture didn't look like this

- That I didn't go grocery shopping this weekend, and now I have few food stuffs.

-That I ate like a pig for the majority of my life, and am now a fat unpleasant person.

Well...I suppose....

2007-10-08T22:16:00.000-07:00

Oh Mother!

-When I was 7 Mother and I went to go visit cousins of hers(also her uncle was being buried so....) They had a dollhouse in the bedroom where we slept. I expressed my interest and joy in playing with it. My mother said "I thought I had a little boy, not a little girl" I nervously said nothing, and stopped talking to her.

-When I was 8 my sister and I learned how to crochet from my grandmother. My father had no problem with it, never uttering a word. I crocheted bookmarks for everyone in class, no one liked them. When I started crocheting "strings" for the doorway of my room ( I wanted something like those cool beaded door things), my mother asked " Now, what I am supposed to think about my SON ( emphasis on the son) who crochets?" I nervously said nothing, threw them away, and stopped talking to her.

-at the age of 10 we are watching Ms. America. Ms Hawaii says she feels bad that Hawaii allows same sex marriages. I say " I don't understand, if they want to get married, what's the big deal?" My mother says " Why, are you one of them?" I say nothing and stop talking to her.

-At the age of 11 my mother asks again and again why I don't play sports. "You're a boy, why aren't you playing sports". To shut her up I play football. I hate it and by extension her. I say nothing and stop talking to her.

-At the age of 12 I come down from taking a shower and ask my mother to buy those Biore clear pore strips. My sister interjects " those are for women" my mother states " Oh, then you don't want them" I nervously say " Oh" and go upstairs muttering " bitch" over and over again. I retreat to my room, stop talking to both of them.

-After watching " Adventures of Priscilla, Queen of the Desert" my mother asks " You don't want to dress up like that do you?" to which my aunt Jane quickly says "No he doesn't" I nervously shift in my seat and wait for the subject to change.

- At the age of 37, I knew that I would never ride through Paris in a sports car, with the warm wind in my hair.... Oh wait......That's not mine.... Sorry Marianne Faithful

Well... I suppose....

2007-10-08T22:13:00.000-07:00

Ladies and Gents, I give you Blanche.

" We got rats in the attic Blanche!"

Well.. I suppose...

2007-10-04T21:39:00.000-07:00

Just a little left over from my trip to Japan. I LOVE this one!

Well...I suppose....

2007-09-26T20:52:00.001-07:00

Oh how I wish for a companion. I want someone to stand next to me as I face this life, not before, not behind next to me. Someone to lean over slightly while I whisper something in their ear (naughty, bitchy, funny, all three). Either gender is fine with me. I'm not looking for someone to do the dirty with. I've been able to take my sexual urges into my own hands for years. (Yes, pun intended) I want someone to pour my heart out to, someone I can tell everything in the world to, and they won't use it against me, or look at me strangely the next time they see me. Some one I can call and will be excited about anything I tell them, even if it's that I got a free soda, because the man behind the counter thought I was cute. I want someone to pour there heart out to me, so we can share our lives, giggle and cry and bitch and moan. Just someone....

Well....I suppose.....

2007-09-17T21:58:00.000-07:00

I find it odd when a completely random person gives you there phone number and say "Here is my number, if you want to call and talk". I always think "Umm... ok.... thanks....." and in my mind I say " Oh goodness, why would I want to call you....?"

Also, a piece of phone ettiquette. When you call me do not let the first words out of your mouth be " Who is this?" It pisses me off. Even more if you say "Who be this?" I ask who is calling me, not the other way around. Also do not inquire with in the first 20 seconds " Where are you?" and " Who are you with?" this will cause be to become very annoyed.

Well... I suppose....

P.S. I love when I listen to a song that I haven't listened to for a while, and am used to the editied version, and suddenly words like " bitch, joint, and fuck"come out of your speakers.

2007-09-05T22:00:00.000-07:00

Finally! A gay singer who is

-HOT

-Talented

-Great Voice

-Great Songs

-Great Feeling

-Hot

Please check out Ivri Lider at http://www.ivrilider.com/english/

His newer song Jesse is an awesome angst ridden song filled with longing and want. Listen to it!

Well... I suppose....

P.S. To Ivri Lider and anyone connected to him businessly (is that a word). If you object to my having posted his picture here, please contact me and I will remove it.

2007-09-03T19:09:00.000-07:00

2 topics

1 relates to the terribly attractive people at the top of this post. I find them both hot, very hot. But to give you another view into my mind, I would like to marry and be the woman, and just mainly marry the man. Hurrah for sexual orientation uncertainty, along with gender uncertainty. While yes, I am gay, am I bisexual? I don't think so....

Also, they are a husband and wife, and I am related to both of them, on separate sides of the family.

2 - Cleaning. In preparation for my move in the next year, I am cleaning and going through things. This is harder than I would have expected as I had to throw nostalgia out the window. I have kept almost everything over the years, which leads to so much stuff. Like a friend Jackie said the other day " This was all my possessions and stuff, and now that I have to move it all, it's all my crap!" So I had to let go of such things as my confirmation cards (9 years old), my Spanish papers from High School ( WHY did I save them?), my taped sitcoms, and random notes from former coin swapping pals. I had to constantly ask myself, " In 20 years, will I still want this" and in most cases the response was " I guess not." A sullen, forlorn "I guess not", but it came out anyway. Hurrah for Easter Seals however, as I can pile all the things I don't wish to throw away, as they are still useful, in boxes and bags in a corner of the basement, until I can put them out on the driveway and have someone come and whisk them away. But slowly pieces of my life are scattering to the winds, to never be joined again in the hodge podge crazy mess that is my life.

Well... I suppose....

p.s. Wrong to want to kiss a cousin, right?

2007-08-18T18:48:00.000-07:00

Damn, those boys picked all those flowers for me. Now they'll expect me to put out.

Well.... I Suppose.....

2007-08-12T16:13:00.000-07:00

Alas, the 5th annual camping trip has come to an end. And what an end eh? Nothing says finality, than raging winds, torrential rains, and packing up your shit at 3 a.m. What follows is the camping log in all it's glory. Well, what is missing is the musty smell as it got thoroughly soaked in the "Hurricane Barbara" ( Any better ideas for naming the storm?)

Camping Day

-Deer runs into post ( Sorry Mike)
- Circle of Death ( 8/8/07 Rules) Aka Big Poppa Rules

2 Take Give
3 “ “
4 “ “
5Guys
6 Chicks
7 Social
8 Never have I ever….. (x4)
9 Rhyme
10 Categories
J thumbmaster
Q question
K Make a rule
A Waterfall

11:13 Nate blames lighting for sucking @ Thumbmaster (and steroids)

11:30 Brent thinks Ashley is cheating (Twice)

11:31 Jenny cheats

11:45 Jenny forgot the rules

11:50 Nate cheats

- Midnight passes and it becomes Thursday)

1:10 Ashley recalls bike wipeout story and then says poop

1:15 Second deer runs into post. God Damnit.

1:20Ashley establishes peeing hole
Nate finally said something funny

1:51 Crazy people wander around the campsite

It’s actually 1 a.m.
Nate was wrong.
Hate, Ash, and Jenny think think neighbor sight in fully of seriale killers ( that sentence was typed as written. I noticed the spelling and grammatical errors)

2:00 a.m. Ashley calls Nate Hitler. He and continues to talk about gorillas.

2:15 a.m. Nate talked about how gorillas are awesome

2:16 Ash hated ZOOS!

4:00 a.m. Nate and Ashley lose canoe paddle and search of hours.

2:45 Randy, John, and Miranda arrive and set-up camp. Join Brent and Nate in the “flowage” with chairs and cooler full of beer.

Note- Randy, John and Miranda have a wonderful adventure on the way to “Buck Naked State Park”. Visit many giant fiberglass animals including cows and pink elephants wearing spectacles. The highlight of visiting the second giant cow (and photographing it), was the Endlenbach’s Cheese Chalet, dancing with cheese and sausage, and buying vast amounts of cheese. Also shopped at a garage sale run by an octogenarian who was selling vintage tampons. Miranda bought the feather fan that proved to be invaluable, and John bought a giant rosary.

7:00 Grocery Shopping. Copious amounts of beer and food are bought. Concept of Thanksgiving in August is created.

There was morning, and then there was the evening. The 3rd Day.

Friday.

8:00 Randy and Ash shotgun beer.

8:21 Randy drinks beer by the shot to determine volume of shotglass. (Bananas!)

8:42 Responsible Randy makes proclamation “ No more than 6 oz. Of vodka in the next 2 hours!”

8:43 Randy makes 3 oz. Screwdriver.

8:45 Randy takes off sweater of responsibility but offer to take of Nate in.

9:03 Nate starts making a comeback.

9:04 Randy(ar) has open fly

9:05 Randy tells creepy ass “shit geyser”. Term coined by Nate, don’t forget to send to Webster’s.

9:10 Randy chastises his own pussy drinking.

9:11 Randy finishes screwdriver

9:12 Randy makes coffee and butterscotch

9:13 “Jenny is a horrendous bitch” –Courtney

9:15 We’re at a level Yellow Randar alert. The National Randar Association ( The NRA) issues Randar watch because conditions are ripe for Randar sightings. Signs of Randar include, but are not limited to, Wearing only a shovel, Excessive mud baths, “ It’s only takes 5 seconds to say Fuck you”.

If you see a Randar, don’t approach it. Throw a drink at it, and run like hell. –Nate.

9:26 Randy finished booze coffee.

9:27 Randy(ar) getting louder.

9:30 Responsible Randy make brief appearance.

9:31 Randar says “ Go fuck yourself”

9:34 Randar has great idea ( and actually it is) LUNCHBOXES!

9:35 Lunchbowl invented by Brent

9:40 Unconfirmed sightings of Randar. “Elevated Watch”
Randar has lunchbox

9:42 Randy exceeds drink limit in one hour. Randar has second lunchbox.
Randar “ move the butterscotch away from the orange juice before someone
Confuses it with the Amaretto” “You mean someone else” “ Yes”

9:43 John and Miranda have an idea. Recycled Tampon paper = Tampaper
Recycled Pads- Pad O’ Paper

9:45 Randar on an adventure with Ashley

9:46 Randar stumbles…… a little

9:47 Randar can still do math

9:48 “ Fuck you and your Goddamn decimals”

9:49 Randar counts back from 100 by increments of 7

9:54 Sun comes out!!!

9:55 Radio kinda works

9:56 Ghetto Jenny comes out

10 O’clock Randy savors last drops of allocated booze. Responsible Randy says “ No drinking for an hour”

10:20 Mirandar comes out.

10:22 Randy’s fly is open, while story about strippers, a.k.a. performers, gave him an erection.

10:23 Courtney “ You’re so fucking drunk”
Randar- “I’m drunk, I’m about 5 drinks away from so fucking drunk”

10:40 Miranda and John swap funny death stories, and try to find the worst way to tell family someone has died. “ Hey remember how many kids you have” “ 3?” “ actually it’s 2 now”

11:05 Franizia stands. * See pictures
Mirandar originates and does 2 more. Courtney does one. Mikey P does one and for a brief moment of time devil possesses his soul and manifests himself in his eyes. One for Randy and One for John.

- Clear liquid
- Erupt Pus
- Lance
( Ashley’s notes on how to lance the enormous fucking blister on knee)
- Yes, Uncle Jimmy says there are ground bee’s! Stay away from Silver Bee’s! Bald faced hornets very nasty.

Unsuccessful attempt at freezing bee by Randy, Brent, and Nate. Attempt fails, results in broken winged bee.

Fucking scary Ashley emerges. We are frightened.

Miranda and John flip the canoe twice. Miranda and John say “Fuck that” and walk off into the flowage with the cooler, and have a picnic on the beach. Much is shared, and it is great. ( Miranda is reading the log out loud and says “ Miranda is shared and it is great” Hmm… Freudian slip?)

Mirandar and John come back to butterscotch lunchboxes, and it is great.
The written camping ends. Please send your remembrances and a revised and updated log will be posted. Things to jog your memory. Rickshaws, Hurricane Barbara, Sexy Partys, Death Metal Elvira, Chairs in the “ Flowage”, John’s new tampons fetish. “ It only takes 5 seconds to say fuck you.” Belligerent Randar demanding others shotgun beer to proves his own sobriety, those Kayak punks, etc.

2007-08-05T21:05:00.000-07:00

Trashin' it up.

So I attended Riverfest today with Randy who convinced me to start off the day by double fisting it with our $3 cups of beer. I think the cop who pulled me over Friday recognized me, because he smiled at me as I walked by. Either that, or if found it amusing that I had 2 beers. It was satisfying to see former classmates walking around that had gotten fat. It gives you a little smile, and you just want to walk over to them and say " ha ha, you got fat." The secret is to be fat IN high school. That way if you don't lose weight, people won't gossip about you in the following years and say " Oh goodness so and so got fat". Instead they'll merely say " so and so is still fat." But lose weight, and it'll be awesome. As this is Wisconsin, beer bellies of course, are popping up on many former classmates. Also, I hate that for the most part you only see people who you never really liked, and don't want to talk to at things like this. Or you see someone from work or a family friend, and then suddenly feel awkward talking to them with not just one but two beers in your hand. Or, a beer and and ice cream when you see your old boss. But that can lead to a nice little discussion about what sort of ice cream would work best in a beer float. Silly lesbians!

Well... I suppose....

p.s. Yes, that's right, I say Kevin at Riverfest! Needless to say, anxiety ensued.

2007-08-01T20:14:00.000-07:00

Soo.....

- Today a 90 year-old man grabbed my boob and asked how much. For real!

- I have lost my contact case, so now they are sitting in soda caps filled with contact solution.

- I had dirty thoughts about the butcher again.

Well.. I suppose....

2007-07-19T20:48:00.000-07:00

- So, today my new co-worker looked at her phone and giggled. Then she gave it to me, and on the phone was a picture of her husband's penis. Yes, not only did she go to the trouble of taking a picture of her husband's penis ( and he was at attention) (let alone the fact that he let her), she also enjoys showing other people it exclaiming " that's one of the reasons I stay married to him"

- I love when I ask people what they do for their job, they tell me their job title, and I nod and say " Oh, ok" while in my mind I always think " What the hell does that mean?" and smile.

- One of the perks of hanging out with old people, is some have bad hearing ( such as my friend Art), and you can softly say just about whatever you want, and they won't hear you, but you have the satisfaction of saying it aloud. So you can utter things like " Let's hall ass to Lalapalooza" and " Where the hell am I supposed to park"

Well... I suppose....

2007-07-12T12:42:00.000-07:00

As promised, naked ladies playing croquet.

Wel... I suppose.....

2007-07-12T06:58:00.000-07:00

It's so Glamorous....

Ok, so I slept over at work last night. For those of you who don't know it, yes, working in a group home has it's perks. So not only have I gotten paid to go to the zoo, drive to Fond du Lac, see numerous movies, and hold a half-naked man's hand in the dark ( he he he), I also can pick up a shift here and there where I get paid to sleep. While it is minimum wage, it still is money for laying on the couch. Of course, I never sleep that well as I switch into mom mode, where I wake up at every little noise, and go sit in the bathroom when one of them decide to use it. It's always like a weird little sleep-over, and I giggle a little, when I take my contacts out by the stove, and I walk around the kitchen brushing my teeth. It's just a little weird.

Well... I suppose....

2007-07-09T20:46:00.000-07:00

Bathroom bits.

Just little tid bits to show the oddness of my life.

- I keep my postal scale in my bathroom. Now, many of you may ask why I have a postal scale. drugs? Goodness no! I just mail that much. But, the reason I keep it in the bathroom, is then it's out of the way ( next to the big gaudy flower ship made out of a bleach bottle sometime back in the 70's), and is easily accesible.

- For those of you who haven't recently been in my bathroom, I've made the back of the bathroom door amusing for both genders. It sports a 2 posters, one of a bare-chested fireman ( mmm....), and the other... well... it's a bunch of naked ladies playing croquet.

- Since I believe in buying large amounts of toilet paper, I have 10 rolls under my sink, and another 12 pack just sort of hanging out in front of the big cabinet.

-Ooo.. that brings me to the big cabinet. It's just a normal big white cabinet from the 50's, however, it is covered with a yellow sarong festooned with white flowers. Sitting on top of this is a fountain ( without water), a Betsy Ross cologne bottle, and one of those plastic men whose head comes apart so you can see his brain, and all his internal organs come out too.

Well.. I suppose....

2007-07-07T07:53:00.000-07:00

Yes, my dears, I am attending a wedding today. For those of you who know the bride and groom, you know the story, and I won't elaborate. For those of you who don't, I won't elaborate, in the off chance that a member of the bridal party may stumble across this page, and be offended. Let's just let it rest with this, it's going to be an interesting wedding!

I will be attired like the man in the above picture, suit and tie ( although mine will be red, not striped). While yes, I may have wanted to attend in a gorgeous light green number ( actually the mother of the groom's dress is almost perfect), and I will attend in men's clothing. However, I do want to be big pimpin', so I will be dressed to the nines, including gold tie clip from the 40's, and slightly gaudy gold and diamond ring from the 70's. Both accessories not mine, however, you inherit wonderful things when people you love pass away. The tie clip amusingly reads " Frank and Vic", however this piece of jewlery was not screaming Man on Man back in the day, rather it's just a testament that Victoria is very hard to fit on a 1 inch gold heart in flowing script. The tie clip is from Victoria's first marriage, while the ring is from her 3rd husband, Sadly, I have nothing from the 2nd marriage, as he died 8 months after the union was sanctified( well, I do have a photograph of him in his coffin, but this does not go well with my tie. The colors clash.)

Is it ok, that the man pictured above is a cousin ( albiet very distant), and I find him terribly attractive. However, never fear, he has left this world for the next, quite a while ago, about 23 years.

Well.... I suppose.....

2007-06-23T20:36:00.000-07:00

What is it about old women and I? We get along so well. Today I went to visit an older woman who lives near me. I'd never before met her in person, I'd written her 2 letters, and spoke with her on the phone, for the first time, 20 minutes before meeting her. We had a wonderful time chatting about everything and laughing. It's like when I went down to meet and travel with an old woman in Missouri after writing to her for 2 months and talking on the phone one time. Does this confirm what I've always expected? Am I really an 85 year-old woman, living in a twenty-something man's body? Goodness I hope so!

Well... I suppose.....

P.S. So I baked cookies tonight. They didn't turn out as well as when I usually do it. After analyzing all factors, and negating those that had no affect on the final outcome, I came to a conclusion. I am not drunk, and my cookies are suffering!

Oh yea, and two more things. Don't blog while baking cookies, you tend to forget about them.

AND don't follow the directions for cookies on the Eileen's chocolate chip bag. They suck. On second thought, just don't use Eileen's chocolate chips. These tasted terrible!

2007-06-22T19:15:00.000-07:00

So, just to let you know how Bizarre life can indeed be, I was driving to work, and just about to turn down the street where I work, and I look over at the house across the street, and there is a naked man outside. I didn't see his face, just from about mid chest down. (I know, the good parts). He was hiding his shame with his hand, but didn't seem to be in a huge hurry to get inside the house. While he did sort of hide behind a tree, the garage door was open, so if for some reason he had been locked out of the house with out any clothes on, he could have dashed inside there. So he sorta nervously ( I think) shifted about, and I believe went inside, however I don't know. I myself had to run in the house to punch in, as I was almost late.

So, just when you least expect it, you could see a naked man. Life is Good!

Well.. I suppose...

2007-05-29T20:45:00.000-07:00

Ah graduation. I decided to wax poetic about graduation tonight, as all the hoopla over the annual event has got me thinking.

Remember when we were in High School and graduation was SO far off. All we could think about was how many more years we had until we were " outta here". Each year we'd anxiously count down the days, ecstatic when one more year was over. Finally that crazy year known as senior year arrived. Most of us got "senioritis", skipping school, coming late, avoiding homework, etc. We had to deal with the annoyance, or excitement of applying to colleges, and breathlessly checking the mailbox each day, hoping we'd get our acceptance letter from the college of our dreams.

Finally the last day arrived, and we couldn't believe, this was it, the final day of our high school careers. We hauled our asses out of bed, and headed off to school for the last day, turning in our well used ( or not) books, and cleaning out a years worth of detritus from our lockers, getting lazy and just throwing things out in the hallway. Saying goodbye to our beloved teachers ( or good riddance to our despised ones). Then that odd week ( at least for us) of finally being out of school, but not yet graduating, our anticipation building up to that wonderful ceremony.

Finally it came, the day we've been waiting for since we toddled off to Kindergarten. We donned our cheap blue robes and caps ( or whatever color your high school was), and for those who worked hard in school, those exciting gold and white cords, proclaiming to the world that the wearer enjoyed scholastic achievements. Some cried, others were glad, etc. We posed for pictures with who ever would stand still long enough. We finally received our little pieces of paper with you names, moved our tassels to the left ( or was it the right?), and threw our caps in to the air in jubilation. We went off to our respective parties, joining in the merriment at our friend's, cleaning up in the gift department. The day was ours, the newspaper filled with ads from local businesses shouting congratulations, those same words blazing at us from roadside marquees. We felt great that day, everyone loved us, we were the pride of our town.

That summer the feeling still remained, and then fall returned. We wandered off to our new (or same) jobs, now enjoying full time status, or to our further educations. Some moved far away as we had dreamed of doing those long high school days, which seemed so far away now, some stayed where we were. We made a valiant effort to stay in touch with our friends, but as time has away of doing, our contacts, faded away, to instead a head nod in the grocery store, a slight wave from a passing car.

Here we are 5 years later, and the time has come again. The congrats are showing up in the papers again, but yet, the seem cheap now, as we have seen them year and year again. They are no longer special for us, meant for others. We realize that it was the same when it was our big day, but it meant the world to us.

Well.. I suppose....

2007-05-28T20:53:00.000-07:00

Me in 20 years ( If all goes well)

Well... I suppose....

2007-05-26T19:41:00.000-07:00

Wow...

Nothing more can be said.

Well.. I suppose....

2007-05-25T06:53:00.000-07:00

My future dining facilities.

Well... I suppose...

2007-05-20T20:01:00.000-07:00

While drunk is it a good idea to...

Fly a kite? -YES!
It's fun, good exercise, and leads to good stories

Sign up for myspace? -NO!
You will end up marking you are a woman, live in Alabama, with a postal code of 54098

Go to Phil's for cheese sticks and pizza? -YES!
Always a good idea. It soaks up the liquor, and fills you up. Also, it's all SO great!

Call Kevin?-NO!
Yea, um.. that's right, I called him. I got his voicemail, and left a kind of long message. I totally don't remember what I said anymore. I think it talked to it being my birthday, and that you can leave a 7 minute voicemail. While I did not leave one that is that long, I don't remember what the hell I said.

Text random people?-YES!
This leads to texts to your sister of " Candy Bananas, la la la"

So yes, I went bar hopping with Randy and met up with several lovely people. I so many, many people I went to high school with at one bar, and it was very odd, making me remember that we're all getting old.

Well.. I suppose...

2007-05-15T20:44:00.000-07:00

OK, So I've decided to share a secret with you.

I don't know who I am or what to be.

One of my big problems, is who I am. Who am I? I dunno. I guess my problem is I'm trying to fall into one of the stereotypical homosexual roles, and the fact that there are several that I think I would be. Like there are some days I feel like being a screaming queen, while others I want to be the guy who people are like " Really, he's gay?" I guess I worry too much about what others think.

Also, Hmm... this is weird, I know, but I'm not quite sure what gender I am. Like, yes, medically I'm a man. I was born with all the normal male genitalia, and it all functions correctly. However, the problem is with my mind. I have so many male and female tendencies, I'm almost both. I'm to girlie to be a man, but too manly to be a girl. I work on a farm and have a beard, but I sew and love dresses. When going to formal events I am torn between dressing to the nines with a top hat and tails, and putting on a long flowing ball gown with a tiara. Obviously I have no choice in the matter, and dress like a man all the time. While sometimes I am happy with my tie, button down shirt, and khakis, I sometimes just wonder how it would feel to sashay around the room in high heels and a sexy cocktail dress.

So there ya go. Maybe it's simply that I'm androgynous. Could it be that easy? There is no way I would ever go under a gender reassignment surgery, so I don't feel like I'm a woman trapped in a man's body. Just a woman and a man hangin' out in the same body, struggling to see who gets to be on top ( no sexual reference intended). Also, I never have any feelings towards being with a woman sexually. Oh yes, I do enjoy kissing girls, stroking there hair and such, I still get excited seeing a sexy man with his shirt off and lust after Aaron Eckhardt and the recylcing man.

Well.. I suppose...

2007-05-08T22:32:00.000-07:00

So....Clothing in Japan.

Start with the men.
-So, so, so, so many cute Japanese men in suits. It was so adorable. Even the older Japanese men look good in suits, but so many 20-30 something aged men, and oh my. Be still my heart!

Women
(because there are so many different styles)
- Bitch socks ( as my cousin calls them). Those terrible knee length socks, so often in black that are worn with high heels and mini skirts. Ugh, I just hate them!
-Red shoes. Red shoes everywhere!!!! with black socks, no!
- High Heels. So many Japanese women were high heels all the time. My cousin said some even go hiking in them. I mean c'mon, I'm all for fashion, but safety before fashion girls. I guess bunions are rampant due to high heel wearage.
- English words on clothes (see above picture). Yea, so, I didn't see this too much, but I love the non-sensical English words on clothes. I mean come on, don't you at least want to make sense in another language?

Well.. I suppose....

P.S. Was I "mean" because when my mother asked what the dog and I were doing I responded " Preforming Madame Butterfly"?

2007-05-07T20:39:00.000-07:00

So, I must respond to Courtney's questionnaire.

Dear John, With regards to your recent trip to Japan, I would like to gauge your enjoyment of your trip by asking you to fill out the following questionnaire:

On your Mountain Trip to Japan did you:

1. Find public execution to be so degrading?
- Indeed, while I did not experience this, I do feel it would be degrading. But I did find public urination to be weird and scary. I was walking back from the grocery store (so much fun), with my cousin, and I noticed this old guy just hangin' out by a fence. He was old, and looked lost, so I was watching him as I walked, and then we got around in front of him and I noticed what he was doing. Apparently this is not actively frowned upon.

2. Come across a sign that read "Malganey Lake Chalet"?
-No. Most of the sings were in Kanji. So I now completely know what it feels like to be illiterate. I knew all these symbols meant something, but I just had no idea what. I could sorta figure it out by watching other people and looking at the pictures. But I still had this slight feeling on helplessness whenever I was out.

3. Find the opportunity to sit in quaint pastel-colored lawn chairs?
-No, not at all.

4. Raise cocker spaniel puppies?(If you answered yes to this question, please proceed to question)
-No, but I did look at all the dogs and say " Hello", then realized that " Duh! They speak Japanese". So we walked by the guy walking his dog and after we passed I turned around to quick look at the dog again. Yea, that's write, I didn't check out the guy, I checked out the dog. I'm a big dork.

5. If you answer no, please skip to question 6).
5. Did you find the raising of said puppies to be both rewarding and outrageous?

6. Did you check for Kettle Cough? (I hear it's contagious, you know).
-No, I did not check for Kettle Cough. I was too busy worrying about blood clots in my legs from the plane ride and salmonella from the raw chicken I ate.

So, that will be that for tonight. Tomorrow I will post a photo or two, and break my stories into sections, for ease of reading.

Well...I suppose...

P.S. Be sure to check out my photos on Facebook. ****Ok, so the party is no longer on the 18th, give me some time, and I'll figure something else out.

2007-04-24T21:01:00.000-07:00

On a Mountain Trip to Old Japan

Yes, ladies and gentlemen, I am heading of to Japan in a few short days. I will be gone a little over a week, but you all know that, so none of you will be trying desperately to contact me, and then worrying why you just can't seem to get a hold of me. ( Yea, like that would happen.)

Yes, I was going to write a random list of musings, but yet again, I've only remembered one, and as that's boring, so...

Well... I suppose....

2007-04-21T19:57:00.000-07:00

Random musings, in my blog, random musings, stacking up like logs.

- Does it make my a bad gay that I watched Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines instead of the 18th annual GLAAD awards?

- Yes, that's right, I wrote Chris Goodman of Fox 6 News for an autographed photo. I will keep you updated on that developing story.

- I finally was able to get a daisy stuck behind my ear and wear it all day. No particular reason why....

- Stupid Fergie. I have to admit I actually enjoy the song "Glamorous". Especially the whole " If you ain't got no money leave your broke ass home" I'm just waiting for the oppurtunity to use it.

Well.. I suppose....

2007-04-15T19:26:00.000-07:00

-So is it a little disturbing that I had this thought today " If I undress in front of the dog, then he'll realize I am going to take a shower and not go up stairs and he won't follow me" ? .... and then I did.

-Stupid TV. I was watching it and typed chocolate instead of dog in the above sentence.

-More than once my sisters and I called each other a "Hammy Bitch" today.

- I totally felt like a prostitute today when I left Jenny's apartment at 6:30 a.m. Not only was Jen still asleep, but I also used to back door.

- I Love driving at 6:30 in the morning on Sundays. Anytime really before 9. Either everyone is still asleep or in church.

That is all

Well.. I suppose...

2007-04-10T18:59:00.000-07:00

Silly stupid things I've said that I care to share.

-" I'll turn down your bed. 'Cause you know, it's up too high." ( not referring to the distance between it and the ground, but rather making a stupid comment on his loudness)

- " Lee's a little hoarse" followed by, quietly to myself " He's a pony" and yes, I did make the tiny motion with my fingers

- After Randy and I both expressed interest in obtaining our own Waynes, after Jen was bragging about hers " We need to find a fountain of Wayne"

Yes, yes, I'm a dork, but at least an amusing dork.

Ooo.. and the explanation for ALL the Easter candy being gone was " Well ____ ate his right away, and then I let him have the others for dessert." So in less than 12 hours and individual ate about 10-15 Hershey's miniatures, 10-15 solid chocolate 2 oz. eggs, 2 crispy bunnys, 10 caramel filled chocolate eggs, 2-3 peanut butter eggs, 10-15 peanut butter cups, and 4-6 chocolate covered marshmallow eggs. While this is not unusual for most of us ( certainly not me) WE are responsible for what we eat, while I am responsible for what the individual eats, and when he gains weight I have to explain why!

Well... I suppose...

2007-04-09T18:41:00.000-07:00

Questions!

-WHO lets a 60 year old man sit outside in 45 degree weather?

-WHAT does Ruth expect to accomplish from writing every little thing she does in the staff log? Examples are " Tanya and Eric, I mopped the floor." " Tanya and Eric, I took the cardboard home to recycle it." " Tanya and Eric, I cleaned out the drawers in the bathroom." I honestly have to restrain myself from writing " Ruth, would you like a cookie?"

-WHERE did all the Easter candy go?! Easter was just yesterday, three baskets of candy should not be consumed by three people in 12 hours!

-WHEN will all the open positions finally be filled?

-WHY does the dryer have to buzz 7 separate times over the course of 5 minutes to tell us it's done? One or two would suffice. After that you come off needy.

-HOW hard is it to tell the difference between a dress shirt and a pajama top?

Well... I suppose....

P.S. Is it bad that to keep Cooper from crying when I leave, that I give him a treat? Will this develop into a feeling of hunger whenever I leave like Pavlov? Will he become an emotional eater? Is this a start of an eating disorder?

2007-04-08T19:51:00.000-07:00

Happy Easter my Darlings!!

Most if not all of us spent the day celebrating the Resurrection of Our Lord eating too much fatty food and sugary candy, being with relatives we either really like, or merely tolerate, and hiding and then finding brightly colored eggs. I do hope you all had a wonderful day.

Of course, I looked in my e-mail to find something amusing. I did very much enjoy the card I received from one KTDevitt, I also enjoyed the automated letter I received from our friendly neighborhood Hallmark people. Here it is, in all it's glory:

Hello!
someone@something.com has viewed your Hallmark E-Card. You’re very thoughtful for sending one.

There's something special about that E-Card feeling. We invite you to make someone else's day and send another one.

Thanks for spending time with us, we hope to see you again soon.

With best wishes,
Your friends at Hallmark

Ok so...

1. It is quite nice that the Hallmark people tell us we are thoughtful, but is that necessary? Do we need the constant reassurance that we are nice and thoughtful people? And VERY? Isn't that laying it on a bit thick?

2. Did we really spend time with the Hallmark people? Really? Did we sit and chat, have a brisket, share a laugh?

4. Best wishes? Are we getting married?

5. Your friends at Hallmark? Isn't this a bit presumptuous? What If I'm not that fond of the Hallmark people. I may have mixed feelings about them. Or I may indeed not like them at all, and am only using them for their free e-cards. (Which causes a special feeling don't you know)

Well... I suppose....

2007-04-03T20:45:00.000-07:00

Yes, yes, yes, yet again the list.

- It's amazing how fast " No Cooper honey, we're not going upstairs now, it's time for bed" turns to " I swear, if you go up those stairs one more fucking time" when you're tired.

- Oh how I love the rain. We now have a small pond in our backyard, and the house is flanked by streams.

- Ok Holly, Miranda, Michael, and Katie, why are you all up at 11:15 p.m., and on the internet? Shouldn't you all be in bed? ( yes Courtney, I do realize this opens me up to your old ladys jabs. Go for it! I'm open. My mother already called me old because I said " For the life of me..." today. Of course it didn't help that I followed her josh with a retort of " Just you hush your mouth"

Well... I suppose...

P.S. Yes, Lame post. But I added the photo of the rather attractive priest just for kicks.

2007-03-30T21:49:00.000-07:00

Yes my dears, I am responsible enough, that I have acquired a dog. As usual in an interesting way. A woman at my sister's work is getting a divorce, and she couldn't find anyone else who wanted the dog, and she was going to have it put to sleep. Well, you all know big ol' softie me. So I told Julie to bring him on home. His name is Cooper. I know, stupid name. I always want to say, when introducing him, " This is my dog, Cooper. He makes barrels." Of course, since I can't call anyone by their given name, I've taken to calling him " Mr. Pooper." I know, I know, one of the worst names in the world. But, it has stuck, and this is what I call him, and how I refer to him. I tried switching to a different name "Herman", but I kept forgetting to call him that.

After the initial period of hating me, he quite likes me, sleeping with me at night, and having to be on my lap at all times I am sitting. Which is where he is right now, sitting under a blanket on my lap, his head resting on my arm.

Well... I suppose.....

2007-03-29T20:40:00.000-07:00

So another random list of musings

- I LOVE the new Hillshire farm commercials. C'mon, meat and random people shouting things. What's not to love?

- So, I attended a funeral on Saturday ( Ms. Breanne suggested that I bring the Easter Bunny from Mayfair, I declined) I have to report that I was terribly more appropriate than at Aunt Margaret's. I think this had a lot to do with that fact that there were Many of my mother's cousins ( over 30) and a full church. But that didn't stop my mother and I from leaning over and whispering humorous things into each others ears.

- Stupid growing up. I'm actually taking pride in the place that I work, and worrying about it. Like this Sunday I am working all day (when I don't want to, I wanted to have off) because the woman who is working can NOT be trusted by herself. So I picked up the 12 hour shift. Stupid adult responsibility. I want to not care, drink til dawn, and runaway to Chicago. Oh, wait.. I never did anything like that to begin with. Damn it, why not?!

Well... I suppose....

2007-03-22T20:57:00.000-07:00

-It really makes me feel old that I think I no longer understand so much of teen angst. For example this woman I work with, has a 15 year old daughter who has ran away about 17 times in the past 4 months. I agree her home life isn't wonderful ( who's is?), but it's not terrible either. I want to just grab her and shake her and say "It gets SO much worse! Enjoy being a teenager while you can, and grow the hell up!" Maybe 'cause I have all this terrible 20 something angst that I have to deal with ( let alone my own mental issues)

- Is there a difference between the BeDazzler and the GemMagic? They sure the hell look the same.

- Does anyone else repeat random bits of dialogue that make no sense to anyone, but causes you to giggle hysterically? Yesterday mine was " Aren't you afraid I'm going to take drugs and injure your children?"

-There is something here that is making an interesting noise, and I cannot figure out at all what it is, it may be coming from the open window. Last night, smart me left it open while it was raining. I managed to wake up an hour later and remember to close it. The carpet was just slightly damp. Oops.....

Well... I suppose...

P.S. Don't be dull... Be dazzling!

2007-03-14T20:38:00.000-07:00

I spent a wonderful day at the Wisconsin Resturant Association Trade Show. Free food, and other products make for a great day. And, to top the day off, I got to watch rather attractive men spin bottles in the air, and making cocktails that consisted of air and ice water. I was hoping to share pictures with all of you, however, I did not have a camera, the girl who did somehow deleted them, and there are no photos on their website. However, there is a video of Paul showing of his skills. Paul is rather attractive, if a bit wiry.

Also, my stalking skills were in fine form yesterday. I memorized the names of all the Bartenders
Josef- Tall, facial hair, cute, and he works in Chicago. Possibly at a club called 720 or something. ( he smiled a lot, which made him look even cuter)
Danny- Tan, handsome, muscular, short. Also works in Chicago ( I totally think he's the sort of one who thinks his shit don't stink, if you catch my drift)
Colin- regular height, cute, and english. However, he is married. Located in Minneapolis. ( hurrah for stalking, I know know when he was married, ooo, and I found pictures)
Paul- Very cute, blonde, wiry, and funny. Also located in Minneapolis ( so cute! and funny)
Ryan (Brian?) - Cute, black hair, slightly funny. Always hatin' on Paul

That's them. Jen, the girl I was with couldn't remember any of their names. Not even Paul who totally hit on her, and invited her out for a drink. Yes, I know, I'm terribly, terribly jealous.

So that is about it. Just wanted to share how yes, my stalking abilities are still at their peak, and will continue to be for quite a while, for all you haters

Well.. I suppose....

P.S. I am quite proud of the fact that I used the phrase " Why ya gotta be hatin' " Several times yesterday.

P.P.S. Also, I am quite excitied to meet the one and only Katie on Saturday.

2007-03-09T18:51:00.000-08:00

- I love that it's gotten to the point in the season, that while it is a bit chilly outside yet, with the sun and the greenhouse effect, your car is always warm and toasty when you get in, before you flit away to where ever it is your destination is.

- Ah, Steel Magnolias. I wish I could find a bunch of bitchy middle aged southern women to hang out with. I think that's what I am inside. A bitchy, middle-aged woman. Maybe not southern though. Oh yea, I LOVE big 80's hair. I miss it so. Not to be confused with bridge and tunnel hair. That's tacky.

- Argh, overtime. Yes the money is quite nice, but the smaller amount of free time I have isn't weighing as well as I thought it would. A nervous break-down may be on the way. But then again, I do believe it was inevitable to begin with, this may just hasten it's arrival.

- Does it mean I am childish because I still giggle inside when I hear the word abreast?

Well... I suppose...

2007-03-06T21:28:00.000-08:00

OK, So I have something to confess to you. As you all know, I have many, many, neuroses. Like I tell people " I have more issues than National Geographic." Among them, my being uncomfortable among most men, my inability to ask for help in a store, my obsession with the mail.

Anyway one that I would like to share is the fact that I am afraid that I am terribly unintelligent, and that none of you all really like me all that well. I don't know why this is, but I just do. I fear that there are a myriad of random reasons as to why you keep me around, one of them not being my stellar intellect.

Well, anyway, that's that.

Well... I suppose....

P.S. Now I worry that you all will think this is just a petty plea for you all to comment and validate my actual being. It's not., I swear. Just a sort a piece information for you all to file away in your mind, to pull out at a later date when you wonder why I act oddly. If you care to know my other hang-ups, just ask. We can talk for days and days about them.

2007-02-27T22:04:00.000-08:00

So, I'm being lazy again and simply quoting the dear Dorothy Parker for my blog today (mainly because it desribes my mood SO often)

Razors pain you,
Rivers are damp,
Acid stains you,
and drugs cause cramp,
Guns aren't lawful,
Nooses give,
Gas smells awful,
You might as well live.

That is all.

Well.. I suppose...

2007-02-25T20:13:00.000-08:00

So, I've decided to post Mike's story. Mainly because I was planning on doing it a while ago, and I completely forgot.

Inside the flannel coat there was a wallet - something the detectives must have missed. The ID was gone but the money was still there, the bills - mostly fifties - crisp and fresh. Funny that none of the twenty three bullets that passed through this man's chest hit the wallet. The lack of a photo ID was a bit disappointing, as it would have been interesting to see what the victim looked like before he was beaten in the head with a blunt instrument. The coroner shrugged and jammed the money into the front pocket of his jeans, along with three leftover stamps and a bowling coupon.

Mike, you can win a constellation price too. Constellation? Consolation? Whatever.

Well... I suppose.....

2007-02-20T22:41:00.000-08:00

So since no one besides Mike and Kyle entered the story contest last year, it sorta ended. So I am going to post Kyle's story today in honor of his effort. Kyle who partially win the contest, so for a prize, you can have something in my apartment, if I approve it first.

Anyway, here is Kyle's story

On Paul's fourteenth birthday, his father had given him a Red Devil condom in a foil envelope. The surprise had sprung from an unassuming rectangular package that was carefully wrapped in newspaper and sat alongside a pile of others that differed only slightly in their sizes and colors. When the time finally came for his mother to put out her cigarette and scream for the amateur sports heroes to abandon the field for a tattered afghan laid on the wooden floor, Paul had already been standing for ten minutes at the imaginary line his mother had drawn at a five foot distance from the gifts. When the crowd and its chaotic clamor had gathered, Paul didn't seem to notice as he grazed through the pile of geometric treasures and ran his fingers along their surfaces just in case the contents were printed in Braille on the outer wrappings. He had almost looked over the neutral looking cube of newspaper until his eyes fell on a D and traced the proceeding A and D scrawled in pencil on its top. The brash hurriedness and irregularity of the text sprayed his face with sweat too quickly to distinguish excitement from fear and his palms grabbed the package with an instinctual force just short of crushing in the corners. It had been almost four years since Paul had heard from his father, but he immediately recognized in the letters the aggression he'd seen bursting from the grasps of the police officers as his father was pulled out of his bed and dragged away. An impatient c'mon from a spoiled neighbor named Ricky who Paul never liked (or invited) jarred him out of his debilitating confusion and he glanced up to his mother for some direction. She sheepishly looked down into her yellow coffee mug to contain an obvious concern. With an exhausted wave of her weathered hand, she passively communicated the decision she had made earlier in day when she had found the package in the mailbox: that he needed to be old enough to protect himself. Paul's mother had not only been left alone, but left alone with the heavy responsibilities of dealing with thoughts that she had brought this into their lives, of explaining to herself daily that she had no reason to suspect anything like this, and to somehow fix Paul. And she was tired. Paul began picking at the corners of a piece Scotch tape with a hesitance that was perceived as preserving the newspaper, but was really a combination of indecision and making the moment with the consciously inappropriate but warmly familiar touch of his father last as long as possible. When Paul's pull on the tape was followed by a long strip of ripped paper, he let himself ravish the rest and revealed a tattered cardboard box that was as light as air, but boasted of 50 Flat sided Horseshoe Nails. Paul saw his mother pull up on her waistband and glance uncomfortably into the kitchen. He strategically opened the flap of the box to briefly keep the contents for himself in the crowded room. The silver foil wrapper was like Paul had seen contain spicy peanuts, though he didn't recognize the brand. Paul ripped the edge of the foil and pulled out a golden circle that he raised in the air with a delighted confusion. A disconcerting yelp accompanied the clumsy line of Paul's mom darting over, grabbing the token from Paul's' hand, and scampering out of the room. Paul didn't see for years the mental image that his mother saw of his impaired father sitting dirtily in the dark, enjoying the deepening of his assertion into the vulnerable boy. Her burst had spilled a small bit of lukewarm coffee on the collar of Paul's new green sweater which he rubbed with concern and his index finger. Ricky asked when the cake could be eaten.

Well... I suppose...

2007-02-19T21:06:00.000-08:00

I had a wonderful time on Sunday visiting the Museum of Art in Milwaukee with Holly, Mikey P, Jen, and C-bone. We veiwed the impressive paintings of Francis Bacon ( who not only painted well, but was cute, and gay), along with quite a few other wonderful works of art. This little excursion also gave birth to the phrase " People come and go, and animals are forever", and apparently my being a Gum Snob.

Anyway, spurred on by this art viewing, I wanted to share with you some art that my mother's cousin did. He was very good (and rather attractive). He's passed away now, over 20 years ago actually. To see more, check him out here http://www.mkelgbthist.org/people/peo-u/uyvari_robert.htm

Well... I suppose....

2007-02-14T20:59:00.000-08:00

So, Valentine's Day,

I am not going to rant about my bitterness at being single. well, right now.

So, I had the joy of being in two grocery stores, and a department store today. I had the joy of seeing all the clueless men wandering around the store looking at valentine's and carrying around flowers, boxes of chocolate, ballons shaped like hearts, and stuffed animals. I especially enjoyed watching the cute rough and tumble guys wandering around in their scuffed work boots, camo jackets and worn baseball caps, clutching roses and looking over endless rows of red and glittery valentine's with these slightly confused looks on their faces. I just want to walk up to them, and be like " Switch teams and date me!" This has to be one of my favorite days to "people watch"

Anyway, here I sit with out a fella. Depressing, yes. So I have to improvise, which ends with me, champagne and sweatpants.

Well... I suppose....

2007-02-12T20:58:00.000-08:00

So, something that's annoyed me for a very long time, and I feel like writing about it. That is unless I decide it sucks, then I will just delete it, and not write anything, like I so often do.

The whole Leader vs. Follower. I hate that being a leader is so stressed by everyone. It's always " Do you wanna be a leader or a follower?" like being a follower is such a bad thing. Where would all our leaders be if no one followed them? I'll tell you where, standing on the street corner saying " Hey.. Umm.. I have an idea... Someone....?" So maybe we should just accept that not everyone is going to be a leader ( do we want a world full of leaders? Then not a damn thing gets done, but a lot of preening, self congratulation, and other mastubatory things) So, if you are a follower shout a " Hell yea!". Some of the greatest things in the world were accomplished by followers ( well some of the worst too, but.....), so give yourself a big pat on the back... or the butt, or chest.. whichever place makes you feel the best.

Well... I suppose.......

2007-02-07T21:23:00.000-08:00

So, I can't think of a thing to write about tonight, so I am giving you all a pretty picture to look at. It's dated Dec. 1950, and I absolutely love it. I LOVE the man's saddle shoes, and the woman's open toed high heels.The guy has almost like a zoot suit, without the stripes. Totaly late 40's early 50's style. I would KILL to have those heels! Yep, that's right.

Well... I suppose....

2007-02-05T20:50:00.000-08:00

So, to start off this post, C-bone can officially never call me a label whore, as when I was visiting her, Jen, and Mike yesterday, I picked a t-shirt out of the trash, and am now wearing it. The t-shirt is pictured above on my body. YES, I did wash and dry the shirt before placing it on my body. I am not that nasty. (even though I did give a homeless man a drink out of my wine bottle, something none of my friends will ever let me forget!) I was emptying the garbage in the laundry room of Maryland Court, and was amazed at the amount of clothing that people throw out. These are college kids, which usually by definition are poor and will wear just about anything. But here were t-shirts, socks, and an amazing amount of underwear. While I did not pick out anymore clothes (except for some socks that I stuffed in the crack between the door frame and the wall, thereby trying to stop the below zero air from blowing in, which Mike and I suspected caused the drains to freeze up), it still amazed me. There was even a green thong in there. Why would you throw out a thong? Maybe I am just sensitive to the issue, as many of my articles of clothing are second hand, via thrift stores, friends and family, or my out and out taking them. A quick check of my outfit right now offers 1. My trash t-shirt. 2. My sweat pants ( which I NEVER wear outside of the house) were my grandfathers, but he died, and now I have them. 3. One of my socks was his also, I think I actually bought the other one. Indeed the other shirt I was wearing today ( it was kind of like a sweatshirt) my sister gave me because her husband didn't want it anymore.

So that's about it. Jen, Mike ( if you read blogs) and C-Bone, thank you for the wonderful day yesterday. I had a very good time. Also, and amusing anecdote. When I told my mom we were hanging out and watching TV she said " Oh, are you watching the game?" to which I responded " No! We are not that kind of people. We're watching "What not to Wear"."

Well... I suppose.....

2007-01-31T19:19:00.000-08:00

They are tearing down another building where I work, so they are having a sale to liquidate the stuff that is no longer needed by the organization. I actually did not buy much, as I don't have the space for really much more ( if anything), and there wasn't much that I wanted. However I did get some great finds, 2 picture poster teaching aides from the 70's that are amusing, and a one of those men whose chest is gone and you can take out the liver, lungs, hearst, stomach, kidney's etc. and take apart the head. Very cool!

I was nostalgic as I walked through the building's three floors, as it was built during the late 60's, and I am terribly nostalgic for that time period. I wish I had worked on the floors, but I came late, and I was too nervous to ever work on the main campus.

I also of course went Antique shopping and bought a 1931 Watertown year book, along with 2 photos that are over 120 years old.

I love how my love of history, and my homosexuality come together so well! Antiquing is SO gay!!!

Well... I suppose.....

P.S. Who wants to go see the Francis Bacon paintings with me in Milwaukee?

2007-01-28T19:20:00.000-08:00

Neuroses

So, since Courtney shared her neurotic behavior ( and since I have established I am not original) I've decided to share mine.

-Whenever I am backing my car out of the garage, I have to be in the car with the engine running and the doors locked before I will open the door. Why?, you may ask. Well the answer is quite simple my dears. This way if the living dead are waiting outside the garage, I will be safe and can simply just back out really fast and drive away, rather then trying desperately to get in the car, lock the door and start the car with the living dead surronding me. Yes, when I pull the car in, I also won't get out of the car until the garage door is down.

- I get extrememly nervous when shopping. I will not ask where something is if I can not find it. I will scour the store, and only ask if I really really need it. Otherwise I will simply go with out. I also will get nervous if I am in an aisle and more than 4 other people are in the aisle with me. I usually have to leave until some leave, or I will leave the store altogether if there are too many people. I also hate when the employees try to "help" me and will mutter under my breath " Oh God, please don't ask if you can help me" while trying to avoid them at all costs. They also make me nervous.

-Touching again on the nervousness factor, when I am driving some place and I am not entirely sure where I am, and where I need to go, I will get extremely nervous, wringing my hands, breathing heavily and my heart will race. However, when I don't really have a destination on mind, I will giggle when I am lost. I don't quite get it.

Well.... I suppose.....

2007-01-25T19:15:00.000-08:00

Exercises in Futility.

Every morning when I have oatmeal ( yes, I do have oatmeal every morning, well except weekends when I work, because I am heart healthy, or at least try to be) I fill the kettle with water, and after pouring it on my oatmeal and making my tea, I go out and pour the rest on the birdbath outside, thus thawing the ice, and making it liquid for the birds again. However, not only does it usually freeze again by the afternoon, I have yet to see one single bird in the damn thing. While I do not sit and stare at it all day, you still think I would see one in passing. Also, you may wonder why this is my problem? Well, the birdbath is mother's, but she simply refuses to take any responsability for it, and it is often dry during the summer, which means I have to fill it, so it has become my responsability ( I am quite aware that that word is spelled incorrectly, but I am too lazy and uncaring to find the correct spelling).

Also, as I am throwing hay down from the mow and feeding it to the cows daily, I am reminded of stacking it all up there in the hot days of the summer. A continous cycle with really nothing to show for it. I want to take a picture of the hay and say ( yes, rhyming, not on purpose) " Look what I did!"

Well... I suppose....

2007-01-23T21:02:00.000-08:00

Just wanted to add this lovely peice of art to cyberspace. I love this drawing. It's over 101 years old, but still awesome. I also thought it was so fitting with the current weather. Cold and snow covered. It's supposed to snow more I guess, so we shall see. Today out at the farm my fingers got so cold that they actually ached for awhile. Oh well.

I had to fill in at a different house today, and I was a little nervous that I'd have to work with some terrible person. However, imagine my suprise when I walked in to door and it was a girl that I quite like that I haven't seen in 3 years. We had such a great time gossiping and catching up.

Well... I suppose.......

2007-01-21T19:46:00.000-08:00

Well, I have accomplished one of my goals for this year. I went sledding today. Hurray! Last year I didn't get to go at all. However, the snow did put a damper on my travel plans today, as I was planning on going to West Bend for an Antique Show, and then on to Milwaukee to have a girls day with Jen and C-bone. I also spent a wonderful Saturday night and Sunday morning in the company of Randy, having general fun, and playing " Chef's Love Shack" one of the greatest games ever for Nintendo 64

I LOVE sledding. I believe part of it is due to one of my older beliefs. If you can move and make little to no effort on your part, it is almost automatically fun! Sledding is awesome because, even though at the end of the ride, it involves hiking up the big damn hill in bulky clothing, in the deep, slippery snow with a heavy sled, you still are flying down the hill with the only effort being expended on your part is a slight push, or run and jump. This is why riding roller coasters, going down a hill fast on a bike, an amusment pary ride for that matter, riding in a boat, bungee jumping, and the like is fun. When you can move, and not try to, it's fun. Why, I don't know. Just like I still think it's funny to make noises with your body, and not be speaking. This is why farts, burps, and gastric noises are funny. I don't care if you call me childish for still giggling when someone lets one fly, but damn it, you have to admit, it's funny!

Well... I suppose...

( I named one of our new calves Opal. Dad thinks I'm weird.)

2007-01-16T20:52:00.000-08:00

So, because you know I don't have an original thought in my head, I've been spurred on my Jen's post to recap our camping adventures.

-1st annual camping trip-
Location- Devil's Lake
Attendees- Brent, C-bone, Jen, Randy, Nikki, John ( not me), John ( me), and Nadine. I think that was all.
Highlights- Definetley the awesome swinging vine on the hiking trail. Also, the birth of one of our favorite sayings " Listen Ass!" C-bone being drunk and approached by a park ranger ( also, C-bone was severly underage)

-2nd annual camping trip-
Location- Devil's Lake
Attendees- Brent, Colin, Jen, Courtney, Randy, John, and Nikki. Also some visitors of Nassari ( spelling), Leah, Ashley, Lisa, and possibly others, I don't remember.
Highlights- C-bone bustin' out "This is not the crisis situation you have imagined it to be", thus making all of us repeat this ad naseum over the entire course of the trip. Colin coming out. Walking in the "fields of diarrhea" as Nikki calls them.
Not so High Lights- Drinking tickets. $240! Also, the creep park ranger handing them out being on a huge power trip. But one of my favorite memories is when we had to pour out all the alchohol and and Randy was trying to open a beer bottle by wedging it in the grate of the fire ring, thus busting the top off and the female park ranger saying "Umm.. yeah, that's exactly what I didn't want you to do". Also, getting kicked out of ALL state parks for the next 48 hours. Randy having to walk back from the park entrance at about 1 or 2 in the morning without a flash light. Let alone getting up at 6 a.m. after going to bed at 2 a.m. cleaning up and driving home. But the 6 hour camping trip was rather cool.

P.S. Is this when we meet the cool little boy in the lake? Zeko?

-3rd annual camping trip-
Location- Black Lake (hence Jen's reference to a lake the color of Iodine)
Highlights- Tbe fact that our campsite was about 10 feet from the lake. We had a boat! Most of us were 21! The awesome Dairy Queen with the cool dock on the river. C-bone and I had our boat date! The birth of the expression " Get on your knees and jiggle" Randy swimming across the lake while throwing up.
Not so highlights- The car crash involving high and drunk people. (however no arrests were made) The fact that we had to drive 6 or so hours to the campsite. That we were 30 miles from Vera, a small town with only a gas station, and we were an hour from that other town with a grocery store and a bank. The fact that we had 2 tents that did not function correctly, leading to the enourmous "storage bag", and sharing tents. Me, almost drowing, because I was too drunk to get back in the boat ( or too shnookered as my sister said), and had to be towed behind the boat.

Neither bad, nor good, - The fact that our campsite had no electricty or running water. But also, no pesky rangers. Also, the pit toilets were right across from our campsite, thus making the drunken walk there easier, and less scary.

-4th annual camping trip-
Location- Mirror Lake
Attendes- Abby, Randy, C-bone, John, Mikey P, Jen, Kyle, Nate
Highlights- Definetly the camping log. Pure and simple. So awesome! Pretty much all the highlights are summed up in that wonderful tome.

Not so highlights- Were there any?

So, we definetly have to do something special and awesome for our 5th annual camping trip to commemorate 4 years of sad choices and great memories. I way looking forward to it.

Well...I suppose....

Please excuse spelling errors, grammatical inconsistencies and the like. I have busted out the bottle of " Wild Irish Rose" and things tend to get fuzzy near the end of this post. But I have laughed out loud quite a bit!!!!!

2007-01-14T21:05:00.000-08:00

Harray, it is snowing. Hopefully enough for a / stick around long enough for a sledding excursion. Last time it snowed enough to go sledding, we went to the bar instead. I did have a great time though, so...

Today at work I wanted to say " We are having crock pot ribs for supper tonight" but of course I announced " We are having crock pots for supper" to which the other girl Aimee responded " Hear that guys? We're having crock pots!", to which I retorted " Shut Up!" Oh silly, stupid me.

Another stupid thing I did today was spent 10 mintues searching for a picture on my computer I thought was titled " Anna, maybe" or " Maybe Anna". Well, it turns out I had titled " I dunno, Anna maybe" I am a smart one boys and girls.

I am proud to say the I am wearing a stylish black Gap sweater right now. Why am I sharing this? Because I paid $1.50 for it. I rock. Also, the pants I am wearing I did not pay for ( I got them from someone else) and my shirt my sister gave me, so the outfit I am wearing right now cost about $3.00 ( when you factor in the price of my underwear when they were new) ( no, I am not wearing shoes, nor socks)

Well... I suppose......

2007-01-13T20:48:00.000-08:00

Since making lists for my posts are easy and fun, here is another go round.

Things I worry about...

-That I will slip getting out of the shower and fall and either die, or injure myself thus either having an ambulance come get me while I am naked and wet, or having someone find me dead, naked and wet.

-I will get tired of my beard and shave it off before I use my passport, thus making me being terribly nervous whenever I use it and having to explain why I no longer have a beard.

- That stupid "Fergie" is being taken seriously as a musician.

- That I will prematurely wrinkle on my face because I forget to moisturize.

-That I have thinning hair!!!!

- I will die without ever kissing a firefighter.

- That you will all be disapointed because this list is not longer.

-Also that I spelled disapointed wrong.

Well... I suppose....

2007-01-11T20:58:00.000-08:00

Because everyone is apologizing, I've decided to list all the things that I am NOT sorry for.

I am not sorry for stealing the napkin from that damn mexican resturant ( what the hell was it called?) that we went to, because that woman would NOT ask me what I wanted to drink. For real, what was the deal, she asked everyone else, and skipped me!

I am not sorry cutting that person off on I-94 a month or two ago, becuase you refused to let me pass. bastard.

I'm really not that sorry for throwing up behind Sandy's truck outside the bar. At least it wasn't on her truck.

I'm not sorry that I've started hiding behind the curtain and staring at the recycling man. He's really cute.

I'm not sorry for never sending in my so called "pledge" to the Wisconsin Profesional Police Associated. I only said yes so you would hang up, and I don't know how you got my name and number in the first place.

I'm not sorry for giggling in church after thinking impure thoughts about one of the ushers. I don't like that church, and since I am not a member, I don't feel I have to act in an appropriate matter.

I'm not sorry for how drunk I got at my uncle's wedding. ( I am a little sorry I guess, because the room was spinning when I went to bed)

I am not sorry for all the times I've not answered my phone and/or pretended not to be home when someone called that I didn't want to talk to. Really, I'm not.

Well....I suppose.....

2007-01-08T21:10:00.000-08:00

Soo....

Ok, although it has been demanded that I write the details of my date, I decline, out of respect for my date.

However, you are now all privy to the private bitch I mentioned in one of my last posts.

ME!

My recent date ( first one!) brought this up again, and I've discussed it with a couple of my girl friends. Being alone is and always has been who I am. Even back when I was 6 I would come home from school, alone, and sit alone at home for most of the night. One sister was by my father's, the other was old enough to have her own life ( and boyfriend) and mother was often working. So it was just me. So, this become who I was. It was always " Just me!"( I wrote an intersting poem type thing about that)

So anyway, I've come to own being a spinster, even at my relatively young age. I became John, Party of One. Easy to attach and detach to/from any couple and or gathering. You need an extra, tack on John, you need to par one away, push off John. I was perfectly fine with it and sort of planned my life around it. I figured that if I wasn't going to get married and have children ( I always kinda wanted to have children, just never get married), that I could take my time with my career and what not as it only affects me.

Now, I don't want anyone to get any ideas, I did NOT fall in love with my date and want to spend the rest of my life with him. I had other feelings which those of you whom I will tell, will know later.

However, I have to figure out if my spinsterhood is poisoning me towards feelings of fondness for someone, or if it just happened that I don't fancy this one.

So we can just tack this huge cloud on uncertainty onto my already jaded self ( Yes, yes, I know I have a tendency towards Martydom, we may or may not discuss that at a later date), and you have a more bitter and confused person, Me!

Well.... I suppose.....

2007-01-05T21:19:00.000-08:00

I love how I am both a typical man and a typical woman.

Typical man
- I grew my beard. It's so a man thing to do, especially at my age. It's when for some reason a switch turns on in a man's head that is like " Hey, I need to grow hair on my face." It's like this thing we need to do to prove we are a man, like not ask for directions, and hide our feelings.

- I totally want a motorcycle. Also a big man thing. We have the urge to drive around with little or no protection between us and the road.

Typical woman
-I LOVE shopping. I went shopping for a new outfit the other day ( for my date) and I had a wonderful time. I bought a new sweater, jeans, and shoes. I had a great time trying on different clothes, and talking aloud to myself in the dressing room " God, I'm so fat" "These pants totally look green" "This shirt makes me look shlumpy" and the like.

- Along with the shopping, I am completely in the mood for a makeover. I want to do my hair again ( but I need to get to Madison to buy Henna), and get a bunch of new clothes ( which I'm going to go to the thrift store tomorrow), and the like. I'm really excitied about it.

-Also, I sew, needlepoint, and scrapbook. 'Nuff said.

Well... I suppose....

2007-01-01T18:57:00.000-08:00

Well, my dears another year has passed, and it makes you want to reflect on back on the events of said year ( that and the fact that Kyle did it and I thought it was a good idea, so I am stealing it)

The great camping trip of '06 4th annual. Because of this wonderful event, we have the camping log a sacred, albeit short ( and probably smelly) tome that we will refer to for the rest of our lives ( I hope).

The log also inadvertanly spawned to incredible blogging storm of '06. Hurrah for more random bits of dialogue added to the internet at large. This dear blog is one of it's children.

Fetivus '06, great party, for a myriad of reasons. ( like a 1st that finally happened!)

The Birthday extravaganza! C-bone's birthday! The odd halloween party that was very disjointed and led to a stain on C-bone's pool table ( Sorry!), and I am sure more fun things that I can remember.

In my own private life I moved to the basement, oddly enough, although tertiarally ( is that really a word?) it was a move down, it was a move up for me! I switched houses at my job ( thank you to all who weighed in with their opinions), and I am happier now with more hours, but also more personal time. I made 2 great "cyberspace" friends and hopefully we will meet someday. And countless other wonderful things. Of course the year was liberally sprinkled with heart aches, disappointments and frustrations ( I'll say it one last time Fuckin' Kevin!)

Maybe tomorrow I will share my resolutions, if I decide to make more than one. There is also a private bitch that will show up here one of these days, no doubt going to make you ponder " what?"

Thank you all who attended the New Year's party, it was wonderful, fun, funny, and there are many hilarious and alll around great memories that were made.

Well..... I suppose.....

P.S. Let's also toast ( yes, we're toasting, Didn't you notice? Get with the program here people) Sad choices. We all made them and have great memories connected with them. Well, if the memories aren't great, at least the stories are!