What the hell?!

So, today I found out David Hyde Pierce finally came out (last year!). Why didn't anyone tell me? I distinctly remember a Ms. Holly saying that the next time a Hollywood celebrity came out, that she was going to to me. Where the hell were you Holly? Here I am blissfully thinking about how fun it would be to marry "Niles Crane", but knowing I can't, and here I could've the whole time.

Well... I suppose....

- I love that when you are walking and listening to music, you instantly become "invisible" when one of your favorite songs come on. To your "rational" mind, no one else can hear you loudly singing along, or see you waggin' your finger, shaking your booty, whipping your head around, or slapping that imaginary ass. (Oh yea, it was "Shoop" by Salt 'n Pepa that set me off today)

-I find it weird when people who write letters write not only the date at the top of the letter, but also the time, and sometimes the weather. What the hell? Is this really important? I mean, I guess if your accused of murder or a robbery you can go back and say " Oh no, I was writing Aunt Ida then, I couldn't possibly have done it"

-Also, I find it odd when people you don't really know (i.e. you've "met" online and have a passing friendship), give you their phone number. I really just want to write back and say " I don't want to call you. That's too weird!". But instead I just ignore it. What would I say? "Hey, I really don't know who you are at all...." (this coming from the man who met someone in a cemetery last year, who was visiting from Ohio, and had just chatted online. Also from the man who drove down to see and stayed with an 84 year old woman whom I had written to and talked to on the phone once. Hmm... I guess I have this weird double standard eh?)

Well, I suppose.....

- So Ma took down the fence surronding the backyard. This annoys me for 2 reasons. One being an obvious and normal one, I can't let my little Goober out to run around, I have to put him on a lead. The second being the more important one. Now, if/when the dead rise from their graves to attack the living, the backyward is no longer a safe place! I had always counted on, if things go badly, we could board up the windows in the front of the house, and still have the backyard, now, it's not so! This worries me.

-Today, when driving back from grocery shopping at work, I spotted a boy walking down the street. I noticed his lips seemed black, and I couldn't figure out why. Well, as it happens, I saw when I got closer he was wearing black lipstick, and then I realized he was a goth! I honestly squealed "Wow, a goth, I haven't seen one in years!" and yes, I clapped my hands.

Well.. I suppose...

I love my job!

So, yes, you've all heard me piss and moan constantly about my job, but I do have to admit, I do love it. I offer for evidence what I did today.

Got to work, and went to pick up my clients (in our 2006 Ford, something or another. When we got it it had 20 miles on it! The first time I ever got to drive a brand new car).

Then we went for an hour drive in the country. We got home, and I passed meds, unloaded the dishwasher and put away the mornings clothes. I made dinner (unstuffed cabbage skillet, so good!). After dining, and making tomorrow's chicken salad, I took one of the guys for a walk around the neighborhood. It was such a lovely day. Then I sat on the deck with another of the guys, reading and slowly swinging on the porch swing, enjoying the lovely weather. Then I washed the guys up for bed, gave them a snack of pretzels and iced tea, and later helped them to bed. All I had left to do was switch the laundry, unload the dishwasher and clean the floors.

I love not dreading going into work!

Well.. I suppose...

So a posting on the forums that I belong to got me to digging out this old set of plates. I grew up using them and always loved them and bought a part of a set at a garage sale some time ago. Well, as it turns out, they were grocery store premiums, and there was quite a set, including platters, tumblers, pie plates, covered serving pieces, teapots, mixing bowls, even an ashtray. So I've decided to make this my china pattern. I figure if I can't have nice fancy china, I might as well have tacky china.

So all you kids out there, if you ever catch a glimpse of this pattern and the prices aren't bad, pick 'em up and send 'em my way, I'll pay your back.

Well..I suppose....

Loneliness

• What is it about loneliness that will make us do crazy things?
• We'll stay with partners that infuriate us, disrespect us, and have no love for us, just so we don't sit alone on Saturday nights.
• We'll stay friends with people who annoy us just so we have another person to go to the mall with.
• We'll accept offers of intimacy from people who aren't truthful, so we can once feel that closeness that we've been craving our entire lives.
• We'll spend our nights rotting at the bar, drinking away our pain, just so we can commiserate with the person sitting next to us.
• We'll throw the chance of a lifetime away, just because it may take us away from the people whose company we enjoy.

Well...I suppose......

So kids, here is a quote from The Bell Jar by Sylvia Plath.

" I saw my life branching out before me like a green fig tree. From the tip of every branch, like a fat purple fig, a wonderful future beckoned and winked.... I saw myself sitting in the crotch of this fig tree, starving to death, just because I couldn't make up my mind of which figs I should choose. I wanted each and everyone of them, but choosing one meant losing all the rest and, as I sat there, unable to decide, the figs began to wrinkle and go black, and one by one, they plopped to the ground at me feet."

I had to make a very difficult decision this week, and I think I am already regretting it. I want so much out of life, and though I am realizing that I can't have everything, I still want it all. A problem that I have is that once an idea or thought enters my hear, I embellish upon it, and built it up in my head, until it's the only way I want to live. Then it can't come to fruition (for whatever reason), and I am crestfallen. Mental issues abound in my little world, and well... maybe I should get some help with that.

Well... I Suppose....

Nerveocity

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So yes, I am quite aware that nerveocity is not a word, but deal with it kids. I like it, and it sounds better than "nervousness"

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I have such nerveocity in my life at all times! For instance, today I e-mailed our director of Human Resources (I liked it better when the were called Personnel), about a job opening. I was nervous for 2 hours afterwards! I won't even get a response until tomorrow evening, and it's not a big deal at all, but my face was flushed and red, my hands shook, my heart beat hard, and my breathing was shallow. All over that! This even happens at other stupid times, like when I call my 92 year old friend Art to see if he is home, or when I buy potato sausage at the local meat market. It's pathetic, and I have no way to reign it in. Even when I take the dog to the vet I get so nervous nausea often sets in.

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Well..I suppose.....

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-p.s. for some reason that I can't figure out, my blog will no longer let me have line breaks and new paragraphs. It insists on smushing it altogether, and it's annoying! The only way I can fix it is by adding those stupid dashes!

"The Secret?"

Has anyone read that book yet, "The Secret"? Basically the gist is not only should you think positive thoughts, but you should imagine good things are happening and live like they will. So an example would be that if you imagine you will find $10 on the sidewalk, and truly believe it, and think positively about it, you will. But the problem is, if you have any negative doubt or something in your mind, it won't happen, as negativity attracts negativity. So you run into many conundrums, for example: You want to lose weight. However, you should not think about losing weight, as this is negative, the "losing part". This will attract more weight to you. You are supposed to think "I am thin", act like you're thin, and imagine you are thin. Apparently when you look in the mirror and see that you have love handles and a fat ass, you're supposed to disregard that.

So when are you thinking positively, and when are you just Mary Alice Sunshine living in Vanilla Ice Cream land? One needs to think negatively sometimes to prepare for bad things. You can't tell me that if you think positively that a tornado will never cross your pass. You still need to prepare for it. But, by preparing for it, are you willing it to come strike you, and blow down your house of straw?

Plus, I have a problem with this anyway, as I am a glass half empty person. And it's full of flat coke, laden with calories, and it's old, and rots your teeth.

Well.. I suppose...

P.S. On the upside me adding famous people on facebook is working! I am now friends with Steven, Sweet P, Rami, and Miss Coco Peru!

Oh Friends in High Places

-Do you ever watch a show or a movie or something with a famous person in it, and think "You know, I bet if we could just meet, and talk a bit, we'd be really good friends!" ? I've entertained this notion quite a bit with several people, Dolly Parton, Kathy Griffin, Chris March from Project Runway, just to name a few. If I could just meet these people, I know we'd be great friends and constantly be calling each other just to chat. Does this make me delusional or just a normal person? I often wonder if the things I say or do, or think for that matter are just something that I do, and normal people don't. (and sometimes I do think what I do is normal, and then discover it's not. Which is usually amusing, and then a little disheartening). I do try to write the "stars" if you will, but it's increasingly hard to find addresses, or I'm just not trying hard enough. Plus with those sorts of people receiving all sorts of mail and other communications throughout the day, I do understand that they are much to busy to respond to each individually. Plus, I've sorta stopped after making one of my biggest blunders, writing a letter to Lily Tomlin, and mailing it............................................................. to Lilly Taylor. Yep, I'm an idiot. I wonder if ol' Lilly got it and thought, "What the hell?" I never got a response. Maybe she was just pissed. Or maybe her assistant or whatever threw it way after muttering "Idiot."

But I do fancy myself not a complete weirdo, as I don't write letters claiming to be someones soul mate, or professing my undying love for them. Well, at least not anymore. We were all shy, naive adolescents once, remember? So I thought I found true love working at a burger joint when I was 14, give me a break.

Anyway, this blog entry was prompted by the fact that I was wondering around MySpace, and asking people to be my friend, such as Dale Levitski, Rami Kashou, and Sweet P. I know this made me sound like a dorky socially awkward pre-teen again "Will you be my friend?". I almost wanted to ask if they would "Cho-cho-choose me?". But, time will tell.

Well... I suppose....

P.S. Woo-Hoo, Rami added me as a friend. Now, to make him an actual friend!

- I am very inconsistent recently. Just yesterday, the ladder I was climbing on the farm broke and fell away from me, leaving me hanging 20-30 feet (I have NO concept of distance) off the ground. Did I swear and scream? No, I could barely stop laughing long enough to pull myself up and out of harm's way. However today when I knocked my coffee on the floor I yelled "Shit" and proceded to bitch about it for 15 minutes.

-I love how odd my sister and I are. She will call me stupid, I'll call her fat, she'll call me ugly, and I'll finish with "Jealous", and then we move on from there. No anger or malice, just a little routine we do. We also flip each other off when passing each other in our vehicles.

-Ever tried goggling your name for just images? I am sad to say as far as I can tell, there are no pictures of me archived my google. Oh there are pictures from sites with my name, but no pictures of me. This makes me feel safe and sad at the same time.

-I've decided to continue my love affair with J.K. Simmons. I don't know what it is about older balding men. (Remember Patrick McCarthy?) I heard once that the people you are attracted to in life are all based on who you "fell in love with" when you were young, I.E. The first person. This interests me, because lately I've been developing crushes on people that resemble one of my father's friends. He was around quite a bit during my childhood, and I still find him attractive, and one day hope to bed him. He even has an identical twin brother! I wonder if their is any truth to this. What have been your experiences?

-Anyway, here is Mr. J.K. Simmons.

Well.. I suppose....

I'm the kind of person...

- who will go put something in the mail with bare feet, when there is 3 inches of snow on the ground and it is -10.

-who will mutter "shit" when upon entering church I discover it is a contemporary service tonight (I just hate them so much!)

-who can not make it through the day without uttering "Your mom" at least 5 times.

- who has a large amount of friends over the age of 75.

- who owns not just one but two wedding dresses, both mine.

- who will check my e-mail 8 times a day if able to.

- who finds female to male transsexuals wildly attractive.

- is sometimes just too lazy to get drunk.

-who will lie awake at night trying hard to stop thinking, wanting desperately to call someone, but knowing no one is awake at 2 a.m.

- who scares away a 40 year old man who makes puppets and plays with toys for a living.

Well...I suppose...

P.S. On a note to anyone with my phone number. My phone is almost always on, only being off when I am at my father's, or in church. Feel free to call me whenever you like, even if it's 3 a.m. I will answer (and if it is 3 a.m. give me some time to respond, as it usually takes me about 10 to 15 seconds to figure out what is making noise and then remember what it is I do with this noise making device. Eventually you will get a slightly breathless and confused, "Hello?")

-So, wouldn't it be great if life was like a porn? Whenever I stay over at work and the man comes to plow the driveway I have this fantasy. I wish that the man will see the lights on and come to the door, asking to use the bathroom, seeing as how I'm still up. He'll be a nice handsome looking man, and of course I'll let him. Then when he comes out of the bathroom, we'll talk a little bit, and one of us will of course broach the subject of sex. Of course, I'm totally game, and we'll make mad passionate love on the sofa. He'll slip me his card with his number and then walk out to finish his snow removal duties, and I'll just lie there in complete and utter happiness over having just been had by a handsome strapping man.

Well.. I suppose...

P.S. The Lizard man was on Tyra last night about Extreme Love. I have to admit, I've alwyas found him wildly attractive and was devasted when I heard he had married 4 years ago.

go to www.thelizardman.com to see his picture. I think he's hot!

Will you be my

?

Well.... I suppose....

P.S. Thank goodness for the Single's Awareness Party! 3 days till drunken bitterness!!!

- So I know you'll all appreciate this. I went and saw Juno with Randy tonight. I got there and said "What, you didn't brink your flask full or rum? Well, good thing I did." and pulled out my trusty vegas flask and made a nice rum and coke. Made for a fun time. Plus the movie Juno itself it pretty damn hysterical.

-For reasons beyong my comprehension, I am developing this attraction to older balding men. I realized this again while watching Juno because of

J.K. Simmons

and then there is

Miguel Ferrer

Well.... I suppose....

I worry.....

-that one day someone will comment " I don't know what to do today" and I will say " You could clean the house for hours" and NO one will continue with " Or rearrange the flowers" so I will be unable to finish with " Or run naked down the shady streets, screaming all the way"

Ok, so I was thinking maybe this story is a bit to odd and tmi to share, but it's damn funny.

So I slept overnight at work the last two nights. Normally I throw the clothes I wore to bed the night before in with the pajamas in the morning because I figure A. I do enough at work washing a few items of my clothing is going to kill the company, and B. I don't use more soap, or change the load size to a bigger one, so I'm not using more water or soap. But I digress. So today the laundry was done drying right when we were ready to go to the store, I pulled it out of the dryer, and grabbed all my clothes out (or so I thought), as I knew the other staff would probably fold it, or see me fold it. Well, the other staff was there when we got back from the store, and I had to make lunch, so she folded the laundry. Well, as I am making sandwiches and soup I hear her ask "Whose underwear is this?" So of course immediately in my mind I think " Oh hell, I didn't get my underwear out", so I turn around and calmly say "What?" Yes, there she is, holding my big blue undies in the air (yes, I wear colored undergarments, deal with it), and asks again "Whose are these?" so I decide it is a bit to weird to say "Oh, they're mine" so instead I say "Oh, I dunno, throw 'em in Lee's drawer." Inside though I am laughing hysterically thinking "OMG, Dorothy is folding my underwear!" Thought you'd all find it amusing.

Well.. I suppose...

Mike- Your comment was AWESOME! See this is why you should go back to blogging! I totally laughed for a couple of minutes. I too almost passed out once, and then got nervous and didn't give blood for a year. But I give again now. Yes, I do watch when they stick the needle in. It is cool, even those sometimes they tell you to look away. Did you get a little cup of Coca-Cola to drink to bring your blood pressure up again, when you passed out?

So I gave blood yesterday, and you have to fill out this big checklist of questions, i.e., have you taken insulin, have you left the country in the past 12 months, have you had sex for drugs or money, etc...

Well, Since I was in Japan last year (like you all have heard over and over again. I swear, it's Miranda's fault), I had to check I had been out of the country in the past 12 months. So the lady who did my paper work, tested my iron, and checked my pulse and blood pressure, asked where I had gone. I told her Japan, in the end of April, beginning to May. So she pulls out her binder to see if where I went falls under any of the places were if I've gone, I can't give blood. So she flips to a Map of China, and asks "where in Japan did you go?" I wait a minute, and say "Um.... Japan is over here..." pointing off the paper into the ocean where Japan would be. (Note, The map is clearly labeled China at the top). So she flips the pages and asks me with an exasperated tone in her voice "Well, just tell me where in Japan you went." I was a little annoyed, but I was calm and said " Tokyo". So, then she flips to the map of Indonesia (which is also clearly labeled), and is looking at that one intently. I didn't want to piss her off, so I didn't say anything. I did think however "Oh shit, if this lady can't find Japan on a map, I don't know if I want her sticking me with a needle." So I say nothing while she studies the Indonesian map for about 2 minutes, and then closes the book. They she asks me how to spell Tokyo, which, no big deal, if you haven't spelled it, or seen it in writing, it's a little confusing. Well, she then writes it down on the paper, and then writes it on the palm of her latex glove, and gets up and walks away. She come back after a little while, gets the bags and tubes and what not, and walks me over to the chair thingy. Thank goodness she was not the one drawing my blood. Instead I had a very good woman, who got it in the vein, first try, no marking, little pain, and was very amusing.

Well.. I suppose....

p.s. Also, something interesting. There is a question that reads " If you are a male, have you had sex with another male, even once, since 1977?" While I do understand the reasoning behind this question, it still is a bit discriminatory.

Ya hear that!? Keep it in your pants unless you want the Axis to win!

Well.. I suppose...

p.s. on a different note, Jen, yes I did try the bike. No it is not rocky at all, and besides the bit of annoyance that it tends to lengthen the more you ride it (hmm... so dirty.....), it is very nice.

I can't use an elleptical trainer, as it makes me feel like I'm falling. It's odd.

Wow

-Never search for Vagina on Ebay. No matter how bored you are. You will be sufficiently startled. A lot! (Unless that's your bag, than go right ahead) Vagina shaped ashtray anyone?

- Continuing on the inappropriate wavelength, I have to share an amusing thing that Randy overheard the other day at a kitchen store. A woman and her mother were shopping, and the woman said "Hey look at these cool dishes, we should get them" to which the mother responded " Please! I've got dishes coming out of my titties!" NO LIE!


-One more, there is a song called "Eat My Butt" by: Lee Kirkham, under the label Bud Ugly Music, released January 16th, 2005. And here I thought it was just an amusing bad porn line.

Well... I suppose....

p.s. Goodness, Now I'm afraid that this will make the porn bots come out in full force.