OK, So I've decided to share a secret with you.

I don't know who I am or what to be.

One of my big problems, is who I am. Who am I? I dunno. I guess my problem is I'm trying to fall into one of the stereotypical homosexual roles, and the fact that there are several that I think I would be. Like there are some days I feel like being a screaming queen, while others I want to be the guy who people are like " Really, he's gay?" I guess I worry too much about what others think.

Also, Hmm... this is weird, I know, but I'm not quite sure what gender I am. Like, yes, medically I'm a man. I was born with all the normal male genitalia, and it all functions correctly. However, the problem is with my mind. I have so many male and female tendencies, I'm almost both. I'm to girlie to be a man, but too manly to be a girl. I work on a farm and have a beard, but I sew and love dresses. When going to formal events I am torn between dressing to the nines with a top hat and tails, and putting on a long flowing ball gown with a tiara. Obviously I have no choice in the matter, and dress like a man all the time. While sometimes I am happy with my tie, button down shirt, and khakis, I sometimes just wonder how it would feel to sashay around the room in high heels and a sexy cocktail dress.

So there ya go. Maybe it's simply that I'm androgynous. Could it be that easy? There is no way I would ever go under a gender reassignment surgery, so I don't feel like I'm a woman trapped in a man's body. Just a woman and a man hangin' out in the same body, struggling to see who gets to be on top ( no sexual reference intended). Also, I never have any feelings towards being with a woman sexually. Oh yes, I do enjoy kissing girls, stroking there hair and such, I still get excited seeing a sexy man with his shirt off and lust after Aaron Eckhardt and the recylcing man.

Well.. I suppose...