- So, today my new co-worker looked at her phone and giggled. Then she gave it to me, and on the phone was a picture of her husband's penis. Yes, not only did she go to the trouble of taking a picture of her husband's penis ( and he was at attention) (let alone the fact that he let her), she also enjoys showing other people it exclaiming " that's one of the reasons I stay married to him"


- I love when I ask people what they do for their job, they tell me their job title, and I nod and say " Oh, ok" while in my mind I always think " What the hell does that mean?" and smile.

- One of the perks of hanging out with old people, is some have bad hearing ( such as my friend Art), and you can softly say just about whatever you want, and they won't hear you, but you have the satisfaction of saying it aloud. So you can utter things like " Let's hall ass to Lalapalooza" and " Where the hell am I supposed to park"

Well... I suppose....