Tuesday, June 30, 2009

So, trolling the bear dating websites late an night is both amusing and depressing all at the same time.

First, it's a bit depressing, as you sit there and think, "Look at all these hot guys who would never date me." Of course the inner pessimist comes out immediately, followed with our favorite friend, negative self image. Give negative self image a nice round of applause ladies and gentlemen. Only, keep your arms down, it makes the fat jiggle. Of course this invariably leads to such thoughts as "I'm never going to have sex, No one loves me, why don't I live in Fox Valley, etc...." Of course, you can't approach these men, because the buffer that the Internet provides is not enough....I mean these men aren't easily going to find out where you live, your last name, how to contact you, etc. But that's not enough....right?

Second, it's amazingly amusing. I guess deep down I'm a prude, but honestly, why would you post a picture of your ass or frontal business on the Internet for all the world to see. For one thing, pictures almost always make things look much smaller, which takes away a bit from the latter mentioned above. Plus, maybe I'm just an old fashioned girl, but that's the sort of thing you pull out (quite literally) on the 3rd or 4th date. Unless of course you're rather forward, and you barely make it half way through your first date. But hey, I don't judge (out loud... among other people... who can hear....)

Also, my goodness some of the things these people say I really have to question as to why this is a turn-on. For instance "54 year old toothless man". C'mon, really? While I do understand this is a plus (I guess) in one department (don't make me spell it out, you kids know what I'm talking about), but what about the rest of the time. That really shouldn't be your selling point. I don't want to sit and listen to you gum Dots in the theatre next to me. I'll probably tell you to close your damn mouth or stop eating that crap.

Then, come on kids, this really bugs the shit out of me. Please, PLEASE, use correct grammar, and punctuation. Spelling I'll let slide, because we all screw that up, not everything has spell check, and some words are just really hard from some to spell. (I still can't spell definitely to save my life, I cheated and used spell check on that one.). But, I should always be capitalized when it stands alone. Also, periods, people, periods! Yes, we're men, and therefore don't get the monthly visit from Aunt Flo, but that doesn't mean we have to neglect the poor punctuation mark that unfortunately share the name. I (and I suspect others) tire very quickly of reading something when it's discovered that it's a 785 word run-on sentence.

Well.. I suppose....

p.s. the comment section is where you get to make fun of all my spelling, grammatical, and punctuation errors. But remember, I'm not trying to find a boyfriend (or sex) with this posting.

Monday, June 22, 2009

Alright kids.

My yes, it's been almost a complete year since I've done anything with this blog. What can I say? It's been an interesting year. Failed relationships, a bout with depression, a near nervous break-down, (not in that order), a speeding ticket, bounced checks, all great times. K, maybe not great, but interesting......

So I am going to try this again, I don't have Internet access at home still (Hurrah for renting a place that's too expensive for me!) so it may be sporadic, while I'm stealing time at work, or hanging at my ma's house.

I usually think of amusing things when I am wondering through my day, but never quite get to the computer fast enough to put the down. I will say I'll try not to be the whiny depressed bitch I tended to be, but I still will be my normal sullen, emotionally distant, sarcastic bitch, so take heart in that!

Well... I suppose....

(Yes, the tag line will continue to make it's appearance)

Saturday, July 05, 2008

Just a random bit of writing from the other day.......

"I awoke in the morning to the sun filling my room with its early golden light. Reaching off the bed for my phone, I groaned realizing that it was only 5:48. Having lived in the basement for a number of years I was accustomed to sleeping in near darkness at all times of the day. Now on the second floor with two large windows immediately to the left of my bed, my body had not yet accepted the intruding morning light for the mild annoyance that it was, but instead as a natural alarm clock. However, having neither want nor need to be awake at this hour, to say nothing of desire, I roll over and try to go back to sleep. When this simple effort proves to be ineffectual, I slowly get up, reaching for a t-shirt that I can drape over my face to block out the brightness. The dog is smart and simply sleeps with his entire being underneath the heavy covers, which does a wonderful job on completely blocking out all light. Having not yet mastered the art of breathing normally through a layer of quilted material, I am left with the make shift sun block of my worn gray t-shirt.

My alarm goes off at 7:20. I barely rise, just enough to turn it off, in favor of the later time I also set it for. Goober, the dog, has become accustomed to my morning routine and does not stir, as he knows the first alarm is always ignored. I lay there in the warmth of the bedclothes that soon will prove to be a bit too warm, forcing me to awaken again. My alarm sounds again, and now Goober rouses himself from his curled position. He meanders up the bed to look at my face, with his simple but direct expression of “Get up, I want to go outside.” I begrudgingly tear my self from my comfort in bed. I reach for a t-shirt that is a little more socially acceptable, as the one I am wearing is emblazoned with “Smile if you’re gay” and a rainbow. While I don’t normally hide my sexual orientation, I don’t feel the need to be advertising it to the world. I grab a pair of socks and head on down the stairs.

I use to facilities first, muttering to Goober “Damn it, I’d like to go the bathroom first.” The finding the keys, leash, and a bag for leavings, I snap the harness on the little dog and head out the door. I have grabbed a cigarette, which I light upon setting foot on the sidewalk. I don’t quite understand why it is that I am smoking this early in the morning, or why I am at all. I don’t normally smoke, having never acquired the habit. However, when I do imbibe in alcohol, something switches in my brain, and my body cries out for nicotine and carbon monoxide. So after a weekend of drinking with friends, it is normal for a pack of smokes to be lying about the house. However, for some reason lately, I’ve been reaching for them 2, 3, even 4 times a day, whenever I am about to leave the house. There doesn’t seem to be a pattern or need, just a random act. I feel that once that pack is gone, a new one will not show up to replace it, until a wild night of drinking commences once again. I ponder this as I walk down the sidewalk with the dog, wondering if any of the passing cars contain a friend or family member, who will later grill me about smoking the nefarious cigarette. "

Wednesday, June 18, 2008

And now a word from the grammar bitch.

So I was in Wal-Green's today on a mission to pick up some pictures, and I stopped in an aisle looking at foam board. While peering at it's "ghost lines" (and making a dumb joke about them) I heard to following sentence spoken aloud.

"Don't this like more better than it did?"

I cringed at the many errors of that sentence. I wanted to walk over there with the foam board and a marker and write down that sentence. Then explain to the teenager who had uttered it, just what exactly was all wrong with that sentence. Such as the use of Don't instead of Doesn't (we should suspend the use on contractions in this country for the period of a week or two, so maybe people will once again realize that the root words of said contractions are and hopefully be able to use them in a sentence.) I also wanted to point out to him that "more better" is a bit redundant, and that when saying better, one must not use a word that is basically a synonym. Much better would have sufficed, but more isn't correct. In that way you are saying that it looked better before, and not you have made it "more better" than that. A bit obnoxious.

Well.. I suppose...

Monday, June 16, 2008

Hurrah! Gays getting Legally getting married in California! How exciting! What's next? More happiness and less discrimination? Let's Hope!


Well... I suppose....

Sunday, May 25, 2008

Ever wonder?
- If this is all there is?
- If self doubt, worry, and uncertainty is your cross to bear?
- If the cigarettes you smoke today will cause you cancer tomorrow?
- If someone will ever love you?
- If it's obsession or the start of love?
- If you would be succesful if you applied yourself?
-That you wouldn't fail if you took a risk?
- Why exactly people like you?
Well... I suppose...
P.S. Katy Perry, new artist, AWESOME! Check her out. http://www.katyperry.com/

Wednesday, April 30, 2008

See I was correct! Holly did say that. See?

"Holly said...
Hahah yes now we are internet friends twice.Next time someone famous comes out, I'll be sure to let you know STAT.
Thursday, November 16, 2006 3:49:00 PM "

This isn't very STAT, Holly!

Well.. I suppose....