Soo....

Ok, although it has been demanded that I write the details of my date, I decline, out of respect for my date.


However, you are now all privy to the private bitch I mentioned in one of my last posts.

ME!

My recent date ( first one!) brought this up again, and I've discussed it with a couple of my girl friends. Being alone is and always has been who I am. Even back when I was 6 I would come home from school, alone, and sit alone at home for most of the night. One sister was by my father's, the other was old enough to have her own life ( and boyfriend) and mother was often working. So it was just me. So, this become who I was. It was always " Just me!"( I wrote an intersting poem type thing about that)

So anyway, I've come to own being a spinster, even at my relatively young age. I became John, Party of One. Easy to attach and detach to/from any couple and or gathering. You need an extra, tack on John, you need to par one away, push off John. I was perfectly fine with it and sort of planned my life around it. I figured that if I wasn't going to get married and have children ( I always kinda wanted to have children, just never get married), that I could take my time with my career and what not as it only affects me.

Now, I don't want anyone to get any ideas, I did NOT fall in love with my date and want to spend the rest of my life with him. I had other feelings which those of you whom I will tell, will know later.

However, I have to figure out if my spinsterhood is poisoning me towards feelings of fondness for someone, or if it just happened that I don't fancy this one.

So we can just tack this huge cloud on uncertainty onto my already jaded self ( Yes, yes, I know I have a tendency towards Martydom, we may or may not discuss that at a later date), and you have a more bitter and confused person, Me!

Well.... I suppose.....